What an excellent question.
What’s the difference between a sexual spanking and a punishment spanking?
In a word, the difference is play.
Once we could spend days just exploring, playing games and having fun. But then life got all serious! Luckily, at about the same age, we discover an exciting new side of ourselves: our sexuality. For those with a healthy notion of sex, it’s a wonderful adventure playground, somewhere we can let our imaginations run free, be someone different, break taboos and do something naughty.
A sexual spanking is motivated by this playfulness, the desire to have fun.
Whereas a punishment spanking is motivated by deterrence, the infliction of pain is meant as a reminder: don’t do that again.
This context is all-important, like all games in an adventure playground, sometimes you might fall off and get the odd bruise, but the enjoyment of play makes the odd bump worthwhile.
And the pleasure derived from spanking is subtle. Some people feel a buzz from discomfort, like those who enjoy extremely hot food; others enjoy donning a new persona through role-playing. There’s a reason this blog is called Spanking Theatre, it’s not just the theatre between your ears, it’s also the theatre you can create in your own bedroom. Together you and your partner can improvise an endless number of intimate dramas; share erotic games and wonderful secret adventures. Imagine playing out a scene over successive evenings, as you deepen the characters, and explore each others’ imaginations.
But why spanking?
Spanking has an innate ritual and theatre that makes it a rich seam for role-playing. Some things just seem to be intrinsically erotic: nudity, shame, the heady cocktail of fear, excitement and humiliation. Then there’s the power of commanding or being commanded to do something with sexual connotations, such as undressing or bending over. All these help give spanking the magical ingredient of erotic charge.
Hence in a sexual spanking, the mood is informal and theatrical. There’s a story being told, and the aim is to tantalise and tease the senses. Compare this with the joyless execution of a punishment spanking.
The other key difference is that sexual spankings are consensual. When you partner tells you you’ve been a very naughty girl, and you deserve a good hard spanking, you can – at any time – tell them you don’t want to play anymore. And that’s fine.
Play involves trust, it’s why even the severest spanking is never torture. It’s important that deep down, she enjoys how a spanking makes her feel, and she knows he loves and cares about her enough to give it to her.
As a result, a sexual spanking results in positive emotions like arousal and intimacy. Whereas a punishment spanking only generates negative emotions such as fear and resentment. I’ve never once put my fingers between a spanked lady’s legs and found her to be dry.
Bright red bottoms make eye-catching porn photos, but don’t think every spanking has to end in tears and hot painful cheeks. Some might gain more satisfaction from the psychological aspects of spanking, the ritual, the shame, the surrender of control. And that’s fine too. Some might enjoy just a few taps, just enough to make their bottoms tingle; whilst others might be very aroused by the mere threat of a spanking, the cool slipper rubbing across their bare bum, as she waits in delicious anticipation for a whack that might never come.
It’s your playground, you make up the rules.
And I’ll continue to whisper ideas into your ear.
I hope this helps.