I have wanted to be spanked for as long as I can remember. Since my early teenage years I was dreaming about someone – does not matter, a man or a woman, telling me in a strict and serious voice – it is time for you to be spanked, young lady. I was imagining countless bending overs, pulling down panties, exposing my bare bottom to the firm hand of my disciplinarian.
Although I always got very aroused after having had these thoughts and I always could come easily, allowing my fingers to wander around my most intimate parts, I have never imagined purposive erotic spanking. No, it was too simple, too straightforward for me. What I needed was getting wet under a hand, a belt or a paddle of a strict governess or a teacher whose aim was to discipline me and not to give me a sexual pleasure. That was a sense of deep embarrassment and of fear that my ultimate naughtiness and licentiousness would be revealed, that brought me on a brink of orgasm.
No wonder I discovered the pleasures of self-spanking very soon. I was craving for well-thrashed bottom and I was very open-minded about the implements – everything with a flat surface was probed on my bottom. Slippers and rulers, even kitchen utensils were of use. I discovered that the most painful spanking comes from a hairbrush and that the most permanent marks are left by a ruler. I took photos and made short video tapes, capturing me disciplining myself. I still keep the best of them in the most secret map in my laptop. But self-spankings can become quite tedious if practiced for a long time. So it was time for me to find a real disciplinarian.
At that point in time I wasn’t very keen on the idea of starting a real life relationship which would include spankings. That is why I started to search for spanking communities in the Internet. It did not take a long time to find a person who corresponded to all my needs. Our communication was not very long but was quite enjoyable. We used to have a “Punishment Diary” where I had to write down on a weekly basis all my misdemeanours and all the punishments received. The aim of this diary was to check how fast my behaviour would improve with regular punishments. Though they were still applied on my bottom with my own hand, it was another person who was ordering them; it was another person who examined the photos of my freshly spanked, red and sore bottom.
I still remember some phrases from my disciplinarian’s letters: “after the corner time go back to your desk, sit down and study hard – do not put on your panties!”; “stay in the middle of the room so that a belt has a lot of space to strike your bottom hard enough”; “no serious misbehaviour this week – it seems that punishments are really efficient! But it looks to me that you are a kind of a girl who needs regular discipline. But this time you can keep on your panties”.
Somehow this all faded away and I was now left alone with my dark desires. I was older, more experienced and I wanted to merge my sexual activities and predilection for spanking. I admit now – I have been spanked by my long-term partner a few times. It is always erotic spanking and never – a disciplinarian one, a spanking from my fantasies. I am not sure I want to practice it with him – some fantasies are better kept fantasies.
It gives me bigger pleasure to wander through the Spanking Theatre, imagining myself in the leading part of all stories which unfold in these texts. I have been Stephanie, doing her Ups and Downs, I have been naughty Natalie from “Abstract Art”, I have re-enacted the whole “Inevitable” story in my mind countless times. I have been both Alice and Penny – oh, this is my favourite! These stories never fail to give me a full satisfaction.
I love language (and this is probably the main reason why I am writing this letter) – even whispering words such as “spanking”, “bottom inspection”, “bare bottom”, “naughty girls get spanked bottoms” makes my pussy swollen and wet, makes me undertake serious efforts not to bend over the nearest table or chair, not to stick out my bottom in search of a merciful hand which would grant me with so wanted trashing. Reading about spanking is certainly as enjoyable as having it – especially if one goes after another. A wet pussy and a red bottom make a perfect combination. It has been already a decade since I discovered this fact, which brightens my adulthood a lot…
Thank you to predilectionforblasphemy for this wonderful submission. I think your words will resonate with hundreds of others, those who have long cherished a fascination in spanking, its rituals, actions and sensations.
As I’ve written before, some do prefer to keep certain fantasies secret, even from their lovers, because they prefer to enjoy them privately – and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. I began writing these stories as a means to explore my own imagination, and along the way happened to discover thousands of readers who used them to explore their own too.
Whilst some relationships do manage to combine love and discipline, I know many are reluctant to ask a lover to truly punish them. It is quite natural, we court our lovers by presenting our very best side, it’s no wonder many of us are wary of revealing our misbehaviours and vulnerabilities. And so often our desire for discipline is hidden away, craved but suppressed.
Stories are a medium for exploring these feelings. Some will be content to recreate the stories in their minds, whilst others will feel the need for physical sensations too – and for those people, I believe self-spanking is as natural an activity as the masturbation that might accompany it. That’s why I created the set of naughty games to accompany many of the stories, so readers can physically experience what I describe, whether they choose to play with a partner or by themselves.
I agree entirely that reading about a spanking can be as enjoyable as having one, it’s the founding principle of this blog, that wonderful experiences can be brought to life in the theatre between your ears. And those who’ve tried it know, a wet pussy and a red bottom do make a perfect combination.
So, thank you for writing and eloquently putting into words what I believe thousands of other readers also feel – that for those lucky enough to discover it, spanking is a treasure to be cherished. And whether a warm bottom is merely imagined, or enjoyed openly or behind closed doors, life would be much poorer and blander without it.
I hope those who agree with your sentiments will share this, for many it will make sense of that peculiar longing for discipline, and why stories and fantasies matter. It deserves to be widely read.