The latest in the ongoing series of naughty games! This post contains instructions for creating your very own self-administered spanking device, like those featured in the stories Carrot and Stick and The Bottom Smacking Machine. The machine in question is the simplest of all possible machines, a lever. No electricity required. And you can play with it alone or together with a partner.


You will need

  • a strong, springy rod like a tough plastic ruler
  • an appropriately sized crack or crevice


Setting Up

First, find an appropriate stick, rod or ruler (let’s call it a ruler from now on for simplicity).

Next you’ll need an appropriate place to locate your lever. You’ll be looking for somewhere with a narrow gap that will hold one end of the ruler absolutely tight. Between a door and a doorframe is a very good location, the gaps in a chest of drawers is another.

If the ruler isn’t held firmly it will vibrate when pulled back, and lose the energy of tension. You can test this by pulling the ruler back and releasing it, ideally it shouldn’t rattle. That rattling is valuable kinetic energy being wasted as sound, valuable kinetic energy that should be being applied to naughty bare bottoms. Remember, Science is your friend.

If the gap doesn’t tightly hold the ruler in place, wrap some sticky tape around the base of the ruler so it’s a bit thicker.

The other aspect of an ideal location is being able to comfortably bend over in front of the ruler and have sufficient space behind you to pull it back.

Ready to play?


How to Play By Yourself

Once you’ve positioned your ruler, decide on the scenario you’d like to act out. Roleplaying makes spankings more satisfying, engaging your imagination and making it about more than just the sensation of impact. Why not pick a favourite fantasy of your own, or a scenario you’ve enjoyed from one of my stories?

You can even dress up if you want, with a little effort, you can make self-spanking a tremendously satisfying experience, as nuanced and arousing as you can imagine it.

When you’re ready, bare your bottom and bend over in front of your ruler. Push back slightly so you feel it flex slightly. Linger for a while, feeling it against your bare skin, as you contemplate the inevitability of your punishment.

Then, reach behind you and pull back the ruler, then let go. It will spring back and spank you. The more you pull it, the harder the smack will be.

If you remain in position you’ll spank the same spot, if you adjust your stance you can get the ruler to smack different places, spreading the sensations and meaning you’ll take longer to get sore.

Many like to play to orgasm after their spanking, but this game offers a novel possibility, playing whilst you’re being spanked.

Naughty girls might like to get their favourite vibe and bend over in front of their ruler, with legs spread wide.

Then start your phone timer and put it on the floor where you can see it. Hold your vibe between your legs with your weaker hand, and with your stronger hand pull back the ruler for a hard spank after every 10 seconds that passes on your timer. Try every 15-20 seconds for slower spanking, every 5 seconds for a rapid whacking.

Naughty boys might like to do something similar, masturbating with one hand whilst pulling the ruler back with the other.

Continue spanking until you’re satisfyingly pink and sore, or until you climax.

How to Play with a Partner

This game also provides opportunities for fun with a partner. It is effectively a hands-free spanking, one partner can sit back and watch, telling the other to reach behind and pull back the ruler, setting the tempo like the cox of a rowing boat. Or they can pull the ruler back themselves, perhaps whilst sitting comfortably behind the one being spanked.

Because the spankee can be the one who pulls back the ruler, your partner doesn’t even need to be in the same room as you, they can watch and issue their instructions over video messaging.

Slower! Faster! Harder! Don’t move! Keep spanking. Now hold yourself apart so I can get a good look at you. Ah, good. Now spank yourself until you come!