Spanking Theatre

Spanking stories for the theatre between your ears


July 2016


Apollonia Saintclair asc 379 – 20130625 L’apprentissage (Wrapped Around Your Finger)

You consider me the young apprentice / Caught between the Scylla and Charibdes. / Hypnotized by you if I should linger / Staring at the ring around your finger. / I have only come here seeking knowledge, / Things they would not teach me of in college. / I can see the destiny you sold / turned into a shining band of gold.

As I’m in the mood for all things French, à ce moment. I highly recommend the dark, provocative and profoundly beautiful erotic art of @apolloniasaintclair

Ever noticed how many of these poems seem to have been inspired by hot, steamy, summer days?

Links to erotic poems

“I masturbated in public”

Yesterday, a naughty young lady wrote in, admitting she had just masturbated in public – whilst imagining having her bottom thoroughly inspected by me.

And, that she had loved it.

Her adventurousness was commendable, but her indecency deserved discipline. So I set her some lines, to be written as her bottom was spanked. So, as she enjoyed her public naughtiness so much, it seems proper her confession is also posted, for everyone to see…

I bet her fingers are sliding between her own wet slit as she reads this post.

Naughty girl.



When clouds above are dark and heavy

And the soggy air a smothering fug

When the first low rumbles echo in our ears

And tremble deep inside our tums

That’s when we share it

Just a glance, then without a word

We drop our clothes right where we stand

A puddle of garments left behind

As if we’d melted in the sultry heat

Hips sashaying as you recede

Just as the first raindrops splatter down

Bursting joyously on your naked skin

How I want to stay and stand and stare

At my cherished porcelain beauty

Now so vibrantly luminous

Under these drab battleship skies

But, I must go, and fetch the cane

Heavier drops patter on my head

As all around, the treetops writhe

Following footsteps in the cool lush grass

Until I find you waiting at the garden’s end

Already bent over the gazebo rail

Your slender legs spread so expectantly

Staring out across the golden fields

Glowing still under glowering skies

Witness the tempest’s dark stain spread

Across the sky, amid the clouds

As milk might spill into a pond

Feel the prickle of expectation

Your lover’s breath upon your neck

My fingers wet, despite our shelter

I know you love to be caned in thunderstorms

To yell your soul at the angry skies

I flex and swish the whippy rod

How funny it was once just a stem

One among millions in a jungle faraway

Forged by rays of a steamy sun

Nourished by deluges of savage storms

Yet somehow its destiny was to be cut

And lovingly fashioned into an implement

Of punishment and pleasure

You arch your back to receive my cane

Each sky-flash prompting me to swing

The whack still searing on your cheeks

As the thunder booms inside our skulls

And all around is pelted too

A chaos of tumultuous torrents reigns

Your bottom stings as nature bellows

Beauty’s gasp after thunder’s roar

Filigree forks of brilliant light

Giant cloudy lanterns glow

How strange to think

Your fate has been dictated by

Collisions of innumerable water drops

Clashing far above at dizzying heights

Til their tumult erupts in a sudden blaze

Setting fire to your behind

Come, nature girl

Let us dance beneath the soothing rain

Let us feel its cool caress

Let it soothe your aching flesh

Tiny streams trickle down your skin

Flowing to the valley between your mounds

There to mingle with your own sweet spring

From which, I very soon shall sup

True serenity is not silence

Under sunny skies

But the peace we find

Amid the storm

@spankingtheatre, summer 2016

With the lover of her mother



Image: The Kreutzer Sonata, René François Xavier Prinet, 1901.


Quand une petite fille a deviné quel est le bon ami de sa maman, elle ne doit, sous aucun prétexte, aller le dire à son papa.

When a young girl guesses what the good friend of her mother actually is, she should not, under any circumstances, go tell her daddy.


Ne désignez jamais à l’amant de votre mère une jeune fille qui se branle pour lui, surtout si cette jeune fille, c’est vous.

Never tell your mother’s lover about a young girl who masturbates thinking of him, especially if that girl happens to be you.


Si l’amant arrive en avance et madame votre mère vous prie de faire attendre, faites-le bander, mais ne le sucez pas.

If her lover arrives early and your dear mother asks you to wait with him, make him hard, but do not suck him off.


Elle ne doit pas non plus, à l’heure où sa mère revient du rendez-vous, lui demander si c’était bon, combien de fois elle l’a fait, si le monsieur bandait bien, etc. Ces questions ne mériteraient que le fouet.

One should not, when your mother returns from her assignation, ask if it was good, how many times she did it, whether the gentleman was rock-hard, etc. These questions deserve the whip.


Il lui est également interdit de prendre à part le bien-aimé pour lui demander : « Déchargez-vous dedans ? Est-elle bien cochonne ? Suce-t-elle gentiment ? Avale-t-elle le foutre ? Se fait-elle enculer ? », etc.

It is also just as forbidden to interrogate her lover, asking him: “Did you come inside her? Is she a good slut? Did she suck nicely? Did she swallow your cum? Did she fuck herself?” etc.


Ni surtout pour lui dire : « Papa a baisé maman la nuit dernière. C’est ma bonne qui me l’a dit. » Cette information ne serait pas accueillie avec plaisir.

Most especially do not tell him: “Daddy fucked Mummy last night. My maid told me so”. This information would not be received happily.


Si vous savez que votre mère attend son amant chez elle, ne vous cachez pas sous le lit, surtout pour sortir en faisant : « Boum ! c’est moi ! » pendant qu’on jouit dans sa bouche. Vous seriez capable de la faire étrangler.

If you know that your mother is expecting her lover, do not hide under her bed, especially if you intend to jump out and shout “Boo! It’s me!” as he is coming in her mouth. You might make her choke.


Ne choisissez pas non plus cet instant pour entrer brusquement dans la chambre en criant: « Voilà papa ! » lorsque vous savez très bien que monsieur votre père est en voyage.

And do not choose that very moment to suddenly enter the room shouting: “Daddy’s here!” when you know full well your father is away traveling.


Si monsieur votre père est absent pour six mois ou un an, ne vous hasardez pas, un jour d’adultère, à cacher l’injecteur de votre maman, de telle sorte qu’elle s’en aperçoive plus tard. Les plus graves conséquences pourraient s’ensuivre, et la farce ne serait pas goûtée.

If your dear father is away for six months or a year, do not risk, on a day of adultery, hiding your Mummy’s douche, so that she only notices afterwards. More severe consequences may ensue, and the joke would not be savoured.


Si vous découvrez que vous êtes la fille de l’amant et non du mari, n’appelez pas ce monsieur « papa » devant vingt-cinq personnes.

If you discover that you are the daughter of the lover, and not the husband, do not call this man “Daddy” in front of twenty-five people.


C’est le mari de votre mère que vous devez appeler papa. Et même, si vous êtes certaine de ne pas lui être unie par les liens du sang, ne lui dites pas à l’oreille : « Je peux bien te sucer, tu n’es pas mon père ! » La fin de la phrase détruirait tout ce que les premiers mots auraient de vraiment aimable.

It is the husband of your mother that you have to call Dad. And even if you are certain you are not joined to him by ties of blood, do not say in his ear: “I can suck you off good, as you’re not my father!” The end of the sentence would destroy what the first words should have made so amiable.


Si une visite se présente quand votre mère fait l’amour et si l’on vous charge d’aller répondre : « Maman est souffrante », ne donnez pas de détails sur sa maladie. Si l’on vous demande : « Qu’est-ce qu’elle a ? » ne répondez pas : « Une pine dans le cul. »

If a visitor is present when your mother is making love, and if you are charged with having to respond to: “Your mother is suffering…” do not give details about her illness. If you are asked: “What is it?”, do not answer: “A cock in the bottom.”

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I think a self spanking challenge would be amazing!

You’ll be pleased to hear I’m already compiling a list of ideas for the self-spanking challenge, hopefully I’ll be ready to start next month. I do want to finish Part 2 of The Sit-Down Dance too.

In the meantime, the curious might enjoy reading my new post: The Beginner’s Guide to Self-Spanking

A Beginner’s Guide to Self Spanking


Thanks to @the-things-i-draw for permission to use this wonderful image!

Self-spanking is a lot like masturbation. In private, many enjoy doing it. But you’ll rarely hear many people talking about it.

I’m often asked for advice on self-spanking by readers who are intrigued by the experience, yet who feel awkward spanking themselves. This is, I believe, because spanking is more than just smacks on the bottom, it’s as much a mental experience as a physical one. Engaging your imagination is the key to a satisfying spanking, whether you’re alone or with a partner. So in this guide, I hope to address the practicalities of self-spanking, and provide some ideas for creating fulfilling and arousing playtimes.

First, let’s consider a question, asked by many, especially those yet to try it.

Why would anyone want to spank themselves?

My answer is that fundamentally, self-spanking is just another form of play.

Think about it this way: vibrators stimulate nerves in the pussy, and spankings stimulate nerves in the bottom. Whilst the sensations might be different, impacts rather than rubbings and vibrations, they are transmitted by exactly the same nerves: the Pudendal and the Perineal nerves. When your brain receives signals from these nerves, it interprets them as coming from the whole genital area. As a result, a side-effect of spankings is the erotic sensation in the genitals, even though those areas are not actually being touched.

The Pudendal and the Perineal nerves are located in the lower parts of the buttocks, near the anus and just above the tops of the thighs. That’s why this ‘sit-spot’ area is the favoured area for spanking, it where smacks are felt most intensely and pleasurably.

Spankings can also, of course, be painful; that’s why they’ve historically been a form of punishment. Pain is your body’s early warning signal, alerting you to the fact that your body is at risk of damage and injury. So normally, our response to these sensations is aversion, to move away from what’s causing the damage. Adrenaline surges through us, our heart races, our minds concentrate. But if you’re over someone’s knee being spanked, running away is no longer an option; you must instead grimace and bear it.

When pain is unavoidable, our brains start to release natural opiates called endorphins, which not only dull the pain signals received, so they do not become overwhelming, but also produce a floaty euphoric feeling. Our bodies have a limited stockpile of endorphins, once they’re released it takes a while to replenish. Which is one of the reasons why those with spanked bottoms are often sent to the corner: so they get to feel the soreness and stinging they’ve received when the fug of their endorphins wear off.

It is this combination of arousing tingles in the genitals, adrenaline rushes and natural highs that, when performed right, can make spankings so pleasurable. So if you enjoy the sensation of a smacked bottom, there’s nothing wrong with delivering that feeling to yourself.

Hence I consider self-spanking a form of masturbation. I regard it as a form of self-love rather than self-harm, a form of self-pleasuring rather than self-mortification. Spanking is a complementary physical sensation to the joys of genital rubbing, and as those who’ve experienced a spanking already know, well-smacked bottoms tend to lead to the most intense orgasms…

As a result, for many who enjoy spanking stories, self-spanking is just a natural extension of how they masturbate, giving them the chance to experience for themselves some of the physical sensations they’ve just been reading about. After all, what else could make story about submission any more erotic, than physically submitting yourself to the story?

Yet it would be wrong to consider self-spankings as an activity of last resort, an ersatz experience when no spanker is nearby. On the contrary, it provides a way for readers to play in the privacy of their own homes, to indulge their own fantasies, without weirding out a partner or revealing what they’d rather keep to themselves. It’s the same reason why many with regular sexual partners still like to play with themselves.

Having explained why self-spanking is popular, you might be getting curious, tempted to try the experience for yourself. So the next section will explain some of the basic practicalities for the benefit of beginners.

How to Get Started

Giving yourself a spanking is as simple as reaching back and slapping your own bottom. But there’s a few practical aspects worth considering that will make the experience more intense, and enjoyable.  

The first is choosing what you’ll spank yourself with, whilst you can use the palm of your hand, you’ll achieve a far better sensation with a proper spanking implement. This is because of science! Specifically, the mechanics of levers – a spanking implement will multiply the force you apply to yourself, giving a harder whack for the same effort. Using an implement also means you’ll experience a single impact sensation, having your palm sting at the same time as your bottom tends to break the spell of what you’re imagining.

Good items to use for spanking can be found all around the house. Try slippers, flip-flops, wooden rulers, hairbrushes, wooden spoons, spatulas, and bath-brushes. Then if, once you get into it, you want to get more serious about bottom smacking, you can add a proper spanking paddle to your basket the next time you go sex toy shopping.

If you’re not an experienced spankee you’ll quickly discover some implements are more painful than others. Generally speaking, the harder and heavier the material, the less forgiving it will be. So sturdy hairbrushes will hurt more than light balsa wood spatulas. Implements that flex, like flip-flops and slippers will be more forgiving than rigid items like rulers and brushes.

The next issue to consider is what position to adopt whilst spanking yourself. For this, choose whatever you find most comfortable, or best fits the fantasy you’re imagining. You might want to bend over a pile of pillows, or the edge of a sofa, or straddle the corner of your bed.

Other positions you might try are leaning against a wall, over the back of a chair or a banister, of kneeling on cushions with your bum in the air. The possibilities are too numerous to list, just choose one that supports your own weight comfortably, and leaves your strongest arm free to reach around to apply your chosen implement to your bottom.

The position you choose will dictate the angle that you’ll spank yourself from, usually reaching back and around. For a different sensation you can try lying on your back and lifting your legs, allowing you to spank in between them, this position is particularly good for smacking your sit-spots, and enjoying the ‘shame’ of exposing yourself.

The duration of your spanking is also up to you to decide, it will depend on the implement you use and your own tolerance of pain. The key here is to start small, and build up until you find the degree of soreness you find most satisfying.

If you’re new to self-spanking, you might like to choose a softer implement like a slipper, and give yourself a single smack on each cheek, then pause and feel the warmth on your bottom. Then spank again, maybe adding a couple more smacks before your next pause. Perhaps when your bottom starts getting sore, you can take break, imagine you’ve been sent to the corner, and stand facing the wall, feeling cool air wafting over your hot cheeks. Then maybe your imaginary disciplinarian decides your spanking wasn’t sufficient, and your brattiness earns you a trip across their knee for seconds.

Once you’re comfortable with the sensation of being spanked, try timing yourself, so you can measure the duration of your spanking in minutes.

One last consideration is privacy. Unlike masturbation, which you can do virtually silently in your own bedroom, the noise of a spanking is unavoidable. This shouldn’t be a problem if you live alone or with a kinky partner, but otherwise you’ll be limiting your self-spankings to times when you’re alone in your home.

So, that’s the physical practicalities of self-spanking, now let’s consider the mental side, and in particular, how do you make it erotic?

The Importance of Turning Yourself On

Here I’m going to introduce three ways how you might eroticise a self-spanking session.

The first is what I’d call Spank-As-You-Read, and is described in Naughty Game #6 – Naughty Reading. This involves reading a spanking story, and imagining yourself as somehow inside it, so when you read about spankings, you get to experience them vicariously. The benefit here is the story is scripted for you, it’s like a roller-coaster, you just buckle in and enjoy the ride.

Perhaps you already masturbate when you read spanking stories. Imagine if, instead of riding to orgasm, you put your fingers of your weaker hand between your legs, and used your stronger hand to rub your bottom with a slipper. Then, the rubs would soon turn into spanks, and you’d begin to grind against your fingers. You’d smack slowly, savouring the sound of the slap, the lingering sting.

Soon you’ll be immersed in the story, your imagination engaged, can you imagine you’re in it? Perhaps you’ll act out what you’re reading, speak the dialogue aloud. A climax will be inevitable, but this one will be different, you’ll end the tale with a delightfully warm bottom of your own, and a head full of delicious thoughts.

The second way to act out a fantasy of your own. This gives you the freedom to improvise, and indulge the kind of activities that turn you on. There is an art to getting into the right mindset for make-believe though, if you find this difficult, you might want to warm yourself up with some suitable erotica first, either visual or the written word.

Perhaps you’ll imagine a favourite scenario, like reporting to the headmaster, or being sent to bed early by Daddy. Or even to re-enact a spanking picture of video you really enjoy. You might want to dress up for the occasion, invent a bit of a back story, apologise or plead aloud when it’s made clear your bare bottom is due for a whacking. Perhaps there will be cornertime, writing of lines or a confession no one will ever read. Just engage your imagination and invent a scene you’ve always wanted to come true.

The third idea is to borrow and re-enact an experience of someone else. Over the past few years, dozens of readers have submitted their own fantasies and re-enactments, which might help inspire your own playtimes. You can find their collected writings here…

Many of these submissions include descriptions of readers’ own self-spankings, if you find them arousing, you might want to try recreating them for yourself.

Coming Soon… the Self-Spanking Challenge

Soon, in response to popular demand, I shall be beginning a new series of posts under the tag #SelfSpankingChallenge. The aim of these posts will be to encourage self-spanking play with a series of ideas and adventures – some of which will prompt participants to explore the mental side of self-spanking, whilst others will involve the experiencing for yourself the wonderful physical sensations achievable through a smacked bottom.

(I’m refining these challenges right now, by the way, so if you’d like to contribute ideas or help with the testing of this new project, do drop me a message)

In the meantime, if you’ve never tried spanking yourself before, I hope this post will encourage your curiosity, and you’ll begin to experiment with the erotic possibilities and delightful sensations of a well-spanked bottom the next time you play…

Duties toward God



Image: Matinée de Septembre by Paul Chabas, 1912.


Tous les soirs, avant de vous branler, faites votre prière à genoux.

Every night, before you masturbate, kneel for your prayers.


Admirez la bonté de Dieu qui donne à chaque petite fille un con pour y plonger toutes les pines du monde, et qui, pour varier les plaisirs, vous permet de remplacer la pine par la langue, la langue par le doigt, le con par le cul, et le cul par la bouche.

Praise be to the Grace of God, who hast given each girl a cunt, into which every cock in the world may plunge, and who, for a pleasant change, permits you to replace the cock by the tongue, the tongue by the finger, the cunt by the ass, and the ass by the mouth.


Remerciez-le d’avoir créé les carottes pour les petites filles, les bananes pour les jouvencelles, les aubergines pour les jeunes mères, et les betteraves pour les dames mûres.

Thank Him for creating carrots for young girls, bananas for maidens, aubergines for young mothers, and beetroots for mature ladies.


Bénissez-le d’avoir mis en vous le désir de décharger et créé mille moyens pour en arriver là.

Bless Him for bestowing in you the desire to come and for creating a thousand different ways to get there.


Si vous désirez un amant, demandez-le-lui, il vous le donnera. Si c’est une gougnotte qu’il vous faut, dites-le-lui sans fausse honte. Dieu lit dans votre cœur. Vous ne sauriez le tromper.

If you want a lover, ask Him, and He will provide. If you need a lesbian lover, tell Him without shame. God reads your heart. You would not want to deceive Him.


Ne priez pas quand vous êtes toute nue. Mettez une chemise de nuit, ne la relevez ni par-devant ni par-derrière devant les personnes présentes. Si vous portez un godmiché en érection sur votre motte, retirez-le.

Do not pray when you are completely naked. Put a nightgown, but do not lift it up at the front or back if other people are present. If you are wearing a strap-on erection on your mound, put it away.


De même si vous l’avez dans le cul.

Likewise if you have one in your bum.


Pendant que vous priez à genoux, si quelqu’un profite de cette position pour essayer de vous enculer, ne vous prêtez pas à cette inconvenance.

While praying on your knees, if someone takes advantage of this position to try to fuck you, do not consent to this impropriety.


Avant d’aller communier, si vous sucez quelqu’un n’avalez pas le foutre, vous ne seriez plus à jeun. Mais vous pouvez en boire le vendredi. Le foutre, pas plus que le lait, n’est considéré comme un aliment gras.

Before going to Communion, if you suck someone do not swallow their cum, as you would not be fasting. But you may drink it on Friday; sperm, no more than milk, is not considered a fatty food.


Quelques jeunes filles trop surveillées achètent une petite Sainte Vierge en ivoire poli et s’en servent comme d’un godmiché. C’est un usage condamné par l’Église.

Some tightly monitored young girls buy a small polished ivory Madonna and use it as a dildo. This is a custom condemned by the Church.


Par contre, vous pouvez vous servir d’un cierge à cet effet, pourvu que le cierge ne soit pas béni.

Instead, you can use a candle for this purpose, providing the candle has not been blessed.

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