Self-spanking is a lot like masturbation. In private, many enjoy doing it. But you’ll rarely hear many people talking about it.
I’m often asked for advice on self-spanking by readers who are intrigued by the experience, yet who feel awkward spanking themselves. This is, I believe, because spanking is more than just smacks on the bottom, it’s as much a mental experience as a physical one. Engaging your imagination is the key to a satisfying spanking, whether you’re alone or with a partner. So in this guide, I hope to address the practicalities of self-spanking, and provide some ideas for creating fulfilling and arousing playtimes.
First, let’s consider a question, asked by many, especially those yet to try it.
Why would anyone want to spank themselves?
My answer is that fundamentally, self-spanking is just another form of play.
Think about it this way: vibrators stimulate nerves in the pussy, and spankings stimulate nerves in the bottom. Whilst the sensations might be different, impacts rather than rubbings and vibrations, they are transmitted by exactly the same nerves: the Pudendal and the Perineal nerves. When your brain receives signals from these nerves, it interprets them as coming from the whole genital area. As a result, a side-effect of spankings is the erotic sensation in the genitals, even though those areas are not actually being touched.
The Pudendal and the Perineal nerves are located in the lower parts of the buttocks, near the anus and just above the tops of the thighs. That’s why this ‘sit-spot’ area is the favoured area for spanking, it where smacks are felt most intensely and pleasurably.
Spankings can also, of course, be painful; that’s why they’ve historically been a form of punishment. Pain is your body’s early warning signal, alerting you to the fact that your body is at risk of damage and injury. So normally, our response to these sensations is aversion, to move away from what’s causing the damage. Adrenaline surges through us, our heart races, our minds concentrate. But if you’re over someone’s knee being spanked, running away is no longer an option; you must instead grimace and bear it.
When pain is unavoidable, our brains start to release natural opiates called endorphins, which not only dull the pain signals received, so they do not become overwhelming, but also produce a floaty euphoric feeling. Our bodies have a limited stockpile of endorphins, once they’re released it takes a while to replenish. Which is one of the reasons why those with spanked bottoms are often sent to the corner: so they get to feel the soreness and stinging they’ve received when the fug of their endorphins wear off.
It is this combination of arousing tingles in the genitals, adrenaline rushes and natural highs that, when performed right, can make spankings so pleasurable. So if you enjoy the sensation of a smacked bottom, there’s nothing wrong with delivering that feeling to yourself.
Hence I consider self-spanking a form of masturbation. I regard it as a form of self-love rather than self-harm, a form of self-pleasuring rather than self-mortification. Spanking is a complementary physical sensation to the joys of genital rubbing, and as those who’ve experienced a spanking already know, well-smacked bottoms tend to lead to the most intense orgasms…
As a result, for many who enjoy spanking stories, self-spanking is just a natural extension of how they masturbate, giving them the chance to experience for themselves some of the physical sensations they’ve just been reading about. After all, what else could make story about submission any more erotic, than physically submitting yourself to the story?
Yet it would be wrong to consider self-spankings as an activity of last resort, an ersatz experience when no spanker is nearby. On the contrary, it provides a way for readers to play in the privacy of their own homes, to indulge their own fantasies, without weirding out a partner or revealing what they’d rather keep to themselves. It’s the same reason why many with regular sexual partners still like to play with themselves.
Having explained why self-spanking is popular, you might be getting curious, tempted to try the experience for yourself. So the next section will explain some of the basic practicalities for the benefit of beginners.
How to Get Started
Giving yourself a spanking is as simple as reaching back and slapping your own bottom. But there’s a few practical aspects worth considering that will make the experience more intense, and enjoyable.
The first is choosing what you’ll spank yourself with, whilst you can use the palm of your hand, you’ll achieve a far better sensation with a proper spanking implement. This is because of science! Specifically, the mechanics of levers – a spanking implement will multiply the force you apply to yourself, giving a harder whack for the same effort. Using an implement also means you’ll experience a single impact sensation, having your palm sting at the same time as your bottom tends to break the spell of what you’re imagining.
Good items to use for spanking can be found all around the house. Try slippers, flip-flops, wooden rulers, hairbrushes, wooden spoons, spatulas, and bath-brushes. Then if, once you get into it, you want to get more serious about bottom smacking, you can add a proper spanking paddle to your basket the next time you go sex toy shopping.
If you’re not an experienced spankee you’ll quickly discover some implements are more painful than others. Generally speaking, the harder and heavier the material, the less forgiving it will be. So sturdy hairbrushes will hurt more than light balsa wood spatulas. Implements that flex, like flip-flops and slippers will be more forgiving than rigid items like rulers and brushes.
The next issue to consider is what position to adopt whilst spanking yourself. For this, choose whatever you find most comfortable, or best fits the fantasy you’re imagining. You might want to bend over a pile of pillows, or the edge of a sofa, or straddle the corner of your bed.
Other positions you might try are leaning against a wall, over the back of a chair or a banister, of kneeling on cushions with your bum in the air. The possibilities are too numerous to list, just choose one that supports your own weight comfortably, and leaves your strongest arm free to reach around to apply your chosen implement to your bottom.
The position you choose will dictate the angle that you’ll spank yourself from, usually reaching back and around. For a different sensation you can try lying on your back and lifting your legs, allowing you to spank in between them, this position is particularly good for smacking your sit-spots, and enjoying the ‘shame’ of exposing yourself.
The duration of your spanking is also up to you to decide, it will depend on the implement you use and your own tolerance of pain. The key here is to start small, and build up until you find the degree of soreness you find most satisfying.
If you’re new to self-spanking, you might like to choose a softer implement like a slipper, and give yourself a single smack on each cheek, then pause and feel the warmth on your bottom. Then spank again, maybe adding a couple more smacks before your next pause. Perhaps when your bottom starts getting sore, you can take break, imagine you’ve been sent to the corner, and stand facing the wall, feeling cool air wafting over your hot cheeks. Then maybe your imaginary disciplinarian decides your spanking wasn’t sufficient, and your brattiness earns you a trip across their knee for seconds.
Once you’re comfortable with the sensation of being spanked, try timing yourself, so you can measure the duration of your spanking in minutes.
One last consideration is privacy. Unlike masturbation, which you can do virtually silently in your own bedroom, the noise of a spanking is unavoidable. This shouldn’t be a problem if you live alone or with a kinky partner, but otherwise you’ll be limiting your self-spankings to times when you’re alone in your home.
So, that’s the physical practicalities of self-spanking, now let’s consider the mental side, and in particular, how do you make it erotic?
The Importance of Turning Yourself On
Here I’m going to introduce three ways how you might eroticise a self-spanking session.
The first is what I’d call Spank-As-You-Read, and is described in Naughty Game #6 – Naughty Reading. This involves reading a spanking story, and imagining yourself as somehow inside it, so when you read about spankings, you get to experience them vicariously. The benefit here is the story is scripted for you, it’s like a roller-coaster, you just buckle in and enjoy the ride.
Perhaps you already masturbate when you read spanking stories. Imagine if, instead of riding to orgasm, you put your fingers of your weaker hand between your legs, and used your stronger hand to rub your bottom with a slipper. Then, the rubs would soon turn into spanks, and you’d begin to grind against your fingers. You’d smack slowly, savouring the sound of the slap, the lingering sting.
Soon you’ll be immersed in the story, your imagination engaged, can you imagine you’re in it? Perhaps you’ll act out what you’re reading, speak the dialogue aloud. A climax will be inevitable, but this one will be different, you’ll end the tale with a delightfully warm bottom of your own, and a head full of delicious thoughts.
The second way to act out a fantasy of your own. This gives you the freedom to improvise, and indulge the kind of activities that turn you on. There is an art to getting into the right mindset for make-believe though, if you find this difficult, you might want to warm yourself up with some suitable erotica first, either visual or the written word.
Perhaps you’ll imagine a favourite scenario, like reporting to the headmaster, or being sent to bed early by Daddy. Or even to re-enact a spanking picture of video you really enjoy. You might want to dress up for the occasion, invent a bit of a back story, apologise or plead aloud when it’s made clear your bare bottom is due for a whacking. Perhaps there will be cornertime, writing of lines or a confession no one will ever read. Just engage your imagination and invent a scene you’ve always wanted to come true.
The third idea is to borrow and re-enact an experience of someone else. Over the past few years, dozens of readers have submitted their own fantasies and re-enactments, which might help inspire your own playtimes. You can find their collected writings here…
Many of these submissions include descriptions of readers’ own self-spankings, if you find them arousing, you might want to try recreating them for yourself.
Coming Soon… the Self-Spanking Challenge
Soon, in response to popular demand, I shall be beginning a new series of posts under the tag #SelfSpankingChallenge. The aim of these posts will be to encourage self-spanking play with a series of ideas and adventures – some of which will prompt participants to explore the mental side of self-spanking, whilst others will involve the experiencing for yourself the wonderful physical sensations achievable through a smacked bottom.
(I’m refining these challenges right now, by the way, so if you’d like to contribute ideas or help with the testing of this new project, do drop me a message)
In the meantime, if you’ve never tried spanking yourself before, I hope this post will encourage your curiosity, and you’ll begin to experiment with the erotic possibilities and delightful sensations of a well-spanked bottom the next time you play…