This game is inspired by my post on sexual spontaneity.
And the secret to sexual spontaneity is… careful planning.
There’s a pernicious myth about sex. That it “just happens”. That everyone’s up for sex, all the time. That new and exciting bedroom activities are improvised on the spot, forged from the white hot furnace of our mutual sexual excitement. None of these is really true.
So this game will encourage you both to try new activities, and introduce your desires in a non-judgemental way, to explore each other’s boundaries and build your sexual confidence. But like all good games, this also includes the delicious spice of unpredictability and randomness.
How to Play
Begin by giving yourself and your partner five envelopes and five pieces of paper each.
Go into separate rooms so you can’t see what each other are writing, and on each of your pieces of paper, write something you would like to do to your partner, or have them do to you.
Be specific, and don’t be greedy (i.e. you may wish for a wake-up blowjob, but not a whole week of wake-up blowjobs). If you ask for too much, your partner is perfectly entitled to edit it later.
When you’re finished, fold each piece of paper over, so what’s been written isn’t immediately visible, and swap your five with those of your partner. Don’t read what they’ve written until you’re alone in separate rooms again.
Once alone, you can open each page and see what your partner would like to do. Being apart means your partner doesn’t see your reaction, giving you the freedom to decide whether that’s something you’d like to do too.
Once you’ve read what they’ve written, you may edit it. If you’re not keen on your partner’s idea, cross it out and offer an alternative. For instance, if they suggest sex in public, you might modify that to something you’re currently comfortable doing, like wearing a butt plug in public.
If the wish irredeemably outrageous, just cross it out and write “kiss me” instead. This is important, their desires are subject to your consent, especially if it’s something you haven’t tried together before.
Or, if it doesn’t go as far as you’d like, you’re welcome to spice their suggestion up a bit.
Once you’ve edited your partner’s desires, put each piece of paper into an envelope, and seal it. Write today’s date on it so you’ll recognise it later, you should be able to recognise your own handwriting, so you don’t accidentally open it if you stumble upon it in a few months time.
When you’ve sealed all five envelopes, keep them somewhere safe until you’ll alone, and then hide each one somewhere in your home.
The objective of the game is simple: to find the envelopes your partner has hidden.
If you find one of the envelopes, you can open it. It will contain one of the fantasies you wrote.
You don’t need to play it right away, of course, you can keep it, and decide when to reveal your prize and play out that fantasy. You might need to make some preparations, after all. If what you’d written was being caned over the kitchen table, you might need to get a cane, dress or undress appropriately, and be bending over the kitchen table when your partner gets home, the opened envelope between your cheeks.
The game has a strategic aspect too. If you make your envelopes too easy to find, your partner is likely to find them before you find yours, and so they’ll get to play their fantasies first. Perhaps you’d like that. Or perhaps you’ll make their envelopes difficult to find, so your partner is kept yearning for what they really want.
You might hide them where you think they’d rarely look, in a storage box of clutter, or that packet in the cupboard that’s been untouched for years. Or you might leave them tantalisingly near, underneath the bed where they sleep, or the chair that they sit on.
Every week, you can agree to issue more wishes. Give yourselves another 1, 3 or 5 pages and envelopes, swap and hide each other’s again. The more you hide, the greater the chances of stumbling across one. The date you’ve written on the front of the envelope will let you know how long it’s been hidden.
There’s no reason to stop hiding envelopes, it’s a game that can continue as long as your imagination glows and your desire sizzles. Continuing inspiration might come from a scene in a story you’ve read, or an erotic picture or video you’ve seen. All you need to do is write the web address of the inspiration on your piece of paper, and then improvise a re-enactment…
Variation: Hidden Secrets
Instead of wishes, write an erotic secret or fantasy, but then don’t swap the envelopes, so each partner hides what they’ve written themselves. How easy will you make it? Do you want your fantasies discovered, or does it arouse you to think that somewhere in your home your most intimate secrets lie hidden?