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Spanking Theatre

Spanking stories for the theatre between your ears

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bdsm

Choose Spanking

Choose spanking.

Choose a slipper. Choose a cane. Choose a ruler. Choose a uniform. Choose a big whacking hairbrush.

Choose
strictness. Choose submission. Choose one of a thousand different disciplinary fantasies.

Choose a disciplinarian to put you over
their knee and pull down your panties. Choose to get excited, by the developing soreness in your hot pink cheeks. Choose to squirm and moan and gasp, as you get a good hard spanking on your naughty bare bottom.

Choose to stand in
the corner afterwards, aching with arousal, imagining just what might
happen next. Choose walking down the street with a hot glow radiating
beneath your skirt, your panties in another’s pocket, your erotic secret barely hidden in plain sight.

Then choose to do it all again.

Choose hot, stinging, throbbing pleasure.

Choose spanking.

Hi, just wondered (if you’re happy to share) how you met your spanking partners? Online and in real life? I’m keen to have some spanking fun in real life, but don’t think Fetlife is my scene. I’ve had online partners which have been great, and some not so great and therefore often worry about boundaries and developing full trust etc.

All the kinky relationships I’ve ever had have developed naturally. We began talking, and we learned about each others’ interests and personalities.

The relationships that developed further all had some kind of spark, a sense you were talking to a kindred spirit who wanted to get to know you.

Fundamentally, I was developing a friendship first.

When I was young and foolish I considered partners to be like a scarce and immensely valuable prize, who had to be somehow won over.

As I grew up, and became a bit wiser, I realised that mindset was wrong, and worse, it wasn’t leading to fulfilling relationships.

I stopped chasing people. I aimed for a new outcome – to make friends, by being approachable, respectful, and engaging to talk to. Sometimes friends develop into so much more. But even if they didn’t, I know my life is immeasurably enriched by knowing them.

So my starting advice is, begin conversations.

I recommend maintaining your anonymity for as long as makes sense. so you can’t be harassed or blackmailed should things turn sour.

Some people may cross boundaries and make you uncomfortable. If so, tell them that. If their pursuit creeps you out, cut the thread. You can block them if they’re getting too weird.

Trust does take a long time to build. Because what you’re actually learning about is a stranger’s motivations. Are they motivated by lust? Or narcissism? Or attention seeking? Or a desire to express their authority? And is that motivation acceptable to you?

Developing trust is difficult because you can’t assess it directly. You can’t just ask one day: “can I trust you?”

You’ll both need to do something that seems quite intimidating:  drop your own masks, and allow each other to see behind it. Through this blog, thousands of complete strangers have come to know the details of my fantasies, and what I believe about not just sex, but life in general. In the course of your conversations with a potential partner, you’ll do the same too.

As your initial question suggests, some people are too keen to skip the trust-building part. That is itself a red flag. It comes across as creepy, even if both of you really like spanking, and think about it all the time. Cutting corners increases the risk you don’t really understand who you’re talking to, and that can have bad outcomes later.

So, to summarise, this is my advice for meeting play partners – which is equally applicable to meeting people online, and for getting to know others you might encounter in real life. This applies whatever your sexual preference, whether you’re a top or a bottom, or anywhere in between.

  • Begin conversations, without expectations.
  • Make friendly conversation.
  • Continue the fun conversations and cut the creepy ones.
  • Develop trust.
  • See what happens.
  • Who knows?

Do you currently have a sub? X

I have many submissive friends I play with.

But I am not a possessive person, so I don’t consider any one individual to be ‘my’ sub.

This freedom has provided me with the opportunity for some exceptional experiences, which in turn, have inspired the stories and writings you read here.

I have been tremendously fortunate to have encountered so many wonderful people – and best of all – I’ve been able to connect with them by just being myself.

There is no need for an elaborate persona, or ostentatious displays of status or wealth. I’ve been able to stay true to the principles I believe in: just treating people well, and ensuring anyone who crosses paths with me comes away feeling enriched by the experience.

And it’s been an honour to bring such pleasure to so many.

My dom has continually forgotten specific boundaries of mine and I’ve found myself having to stop in the middle of play and remind him of my limits. Is this a red flag? They aren’t little things, it’s things like not wanting to be slapped in the face and not liking being choked. How should I address this??

This doesn’t sound like forgetting. It sounds like he’s testing you to see how much he can get away with, and because you’ve stood up to him, he’s using slapping and choking as a way to reimpose his authority. This is completely wrong, and an obvious red flag.

In any d/s relationship, the power resides with the submissive alone. Subs cede control and give their consent. Subs set the boundaries, not doms. A dom who is incapable of respecting their partner’s boundaries clearly does not respect the precious human being they’re playing with.

The worry here is that choking is very hazardous, and requires a conscientious partner who you can absolutely trust. I’d worry about any partner who seemed to care more about their own gratification than their partner’s legitimate safety concerns.

Boundaries exist to separate consensual play from abuse. You decide where that boundary is drawn. If he can not respect that, you are putting yourself in peril.

Please, stay safe.

You mentioned before that spanking partners should be ‘emotionally mature’. Please could you explain this further? Thanks.

To me, emotional maturity in a partner means she has a high level of self-esteem. That she is mature enough to know her own mind and her own sexual preferences, with the confidence to pursue her own desires.

To use the superhero cliche, with great power comes great responsibility, and assuming a sexually dominant role gives you a position of extraordinary power – it should be wielded carefully, and with great empathy.

I’d rather play with an equal – someone strong-willed, who I knew was submitting from a position of psychological strength, with her own identity, desires and fantasies.

Some have asked where I get my inspiration from. And in truth, it’s mostly through connecting with some wonderful individuals, whose brilliant minds have challenged and inspired my own imagination.

Sexual submissiveness is not about doing what you’re told. That’s mindless slavery. It’s about being confident enough to cede control, to take chances, and weave shared magic together.

I am kinky and enjoy spanking my partners, male or female. My current boyfriend expressed an interest in exploring spanking and we have started to play. He has discovered strong masochist tendencies. However, there is one issue: I am unsure about how to make sure he is safe/how to gauge how much he has taken. His skin is extremely dark and does not bruise. It also does not turn red easily. However, obviously he will be feeling the pain of the spanking. I was wondering if you had any advice.

There is a hazard here, as true masochists can zone out from pain. And pain can have a euphoric effect, it’s like a drug, and so your partner might not be lucid enough to reply to traditional questions like ‘Have you had enough?’ or to use their safewords.

So I’d spank and then pause. Then resume, and then pause again.

Leave gaps, which will allow your partner to enjoy the high of the pain you’ve inflicted, and then come down again. Be aware of how lucid they are. If they seem too high – wait until you resume the spanking.

Make use of these gaps. They’re far more than dead air.

Send your partner to the corner, perform an inspection, have them sit on their sore bottom and write about what they’re feeling. Have them masturbate, then stop. Fig them. Have them lick you out.

This is just good practice. Someone who’s inebriated can not give their consent, and it’s up to the Top to decide if the Bottom is no longer aware enough to genuinely participate. As long as your partner is talking, both of you can play safely.

One other tip is to look for liquid seeping from spanked skin – this indicates you’re damaging the dermis – the flesh that lies under the surface of the skin. Dab the spanked area with a tissue when you pause, and consider stopping if the skin is weeping or bleeding. If that happens, continuing to spank is just going to inflict physical damage on your partner.

I believe the best spankings, the most skilful spankings, are the ones that satisfy without ever breaking the recipient’s skin.

It’s not a regular question so you don’t have to answer it if you don’t feel comfortable but do you think discipline and rules with structure can help people who struggles with their mental health. For me having some rules to follow helps me focus and with a sort of D/s relationship there are similar aspects like knowing wants and needs of the other person and open communication.

Yes I do. I actually wrote a post on the need for rules last year:

https://spankingtheatre.tumblr.com/post/184509985035/the-naughty-well-behaved

Irrespective of mental health, most people yearn for order and structure in their lives. Chaos and uncertainty just lead to anxiety. Personalities that thrive on anarchic disorder are very rare, and tend to have their own struggles.

By eroticising rules, order and discipline in kink play we help soften them, we turn things that could be sources of anxiety into things that are paradoxically arousing.

A good dominant takes charge, kindly and firmly, and helps their partner feel that their world is simpler, that their rules are stricter and less ambiguous, and the costs of transgression might be sore or embarrassing, but breaking a rule won’t feel like life’s foundations are crumbling away.

That’s why spanking fantasies are so popular. The naughty schoolgirl and her stern headmaster, the young lady and her strict governess, the brat sent her room, and dozens of other variations. A quick ritualised bottom smacking, and the slate is wiped clean, emotionally and mentally.

What do you think about collars and collaring? X

There are many different ways to think about collaring, the meaning varying depending on the time involved.

Long-term collaring is a form of consensual ownership, signifying the depth and durability of a kinky relationship. Since a sub only has one neck, this tends to imply a degree of exclusivity.

The collar can also offer a sense of reassurance, something to physically touch to allay anxiety when a couple are apart. Or a reminder to behave as its tightness presses against the throat. Or like Tolkien’s ring, it might embolden its bearer, granting super-powers of self-esteem and confidence.

Short-term collaring has a different meaning. Here the collar is worn as an aide, to help its wearer adopt a different persona. They might be a authoritative, no-nonsense professional during the working week, but want to spend the weekend as a sex slave. Here the collar signifies that whilst it being worn, the wearer intends to submit entirely to their partner’s whims.

It doesn’t even need to be a collar. It could be a gag or bridle, like the slaves in The Girl in the Mirror. Dressing up can also achieve the same purpose, which is why many adults like dressing up in school uniforms. They are effectively saying: for as long as I wear this, treat me accordingly.

And there is session collaring, where the collar is used as a prop during play. For instance, it might be worn secretly beneath clothing as a couple goes out for dinner. Or displayed in plain sight brazenly.

Perhaps with a cord tied to the front, dangling down between her breasts, right down between her lips, then up between her bottom cheeks, and up her back to be tied to the rear of her collar. Throughout the evening her partner might reach forward to stroke her neck discreetly, and tug the cord whenever her attention seems to wander.

There are many ways to play with collaring, because collars can be as unique as the one that wears it.

Permission to be erotically surprised

Kinky relationships are misunderstood by many. To an outsider, it might seem like the
power lies with the Dom – they after all give the orders and expect to be obeyed. They appear to be active, the ones who spank, fondle, inspect and fuck, whilst their submissive partner appears to be passive, merely a canvas for their controlling artist to draw upon.

But this is a serious misunderstanding. The closer you get the more apparent the real truth becomes.

Because the true power really lies with the Sub, because it is their desires that initiate any scene, and only their continuing consent sustains it. It’s the Dom who is bending to the
desires of their partner, and which they’re happy to satisfy.

Yet if a stranger was to suddenly grab you by the wrist, drag your forcefully over their knee and wrestle down your clothes before spanking you hard. That would not only be creepy, but blatantly illegal too.

Consent is giving permission to be erotically surprised.

When a Sub tells their partner they want to be spanked, exciting possibilities are suddenly unlocked. It gives your partner authority, leeway to start improvising, to decide how you will be punished – and pleasured.

The Dom might be the Director of the scene, but the Sub is the Producer: the one who initiates it, who sets the limits, and who can call a halt to the production if it ever veers too off-course.

A Sub is only pretending to give up power, because in reality they are the one at the centre of the scene, the one having their desires attended to. Just because they’re experiencing pain, doesn’t mean they’re not being worshipped.

You’ll see this theme in several of the stories here. At one extreme is the story Control which is a good example of so-called “Topping from the Bottom”, but there are also subtler examples like Christmas Present, Daydreaming and The Sit-Down Dance, where the instigation of spankings is more of a gentle nudge.

What unites these stories is that the submissive protagonists are not involuntary or passive participants, but actively engaged in the pursuit of desires they seek.

The most common message I receive from readers is: how do I get someone to spank me?

My advice is always the same.

The best dominant partners have a strong moral compass. They do not push their own desires on others. It’s not shyness, it’s basic politeness, they wait to be invited inside.

Your consent is the key that unlocks the door. Your consent suspends reality and makes possible a transient fantasy world. Your consent enables your fantasies.

Your consent will get your bottom spanked.

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