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Spanking Theatre

Spanking stories for the theatre between your ears

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consent

Choose Spanking

Choose spanking.

Choose a slipper. Choose a cane. Choose a ruler. Choose a uniform. Choose a big whacking hairbrush.

Choose
strictness. Choose submission. Choose one of a thousand different disciplinary fantasies.

Choose a disciplinarian to put you over
their knee and pull down your panties. Choose to get excited, by the developing soreness in your hot pink cheeks. Choose to squirm and moan and gasp, as you get a good hard spanking on your naughty bare bottom.

Choose to stand in
the corner afterwards, aching with arousal, imagining just what might
happen next. Choose walking down the street with a hot glow radiating
beneath your skirt, your panties in another’s pocket, your erotic secret barely hidden in plain sight.

Then choose to do it all again.

Choose hot, stinging, throbbing pleasure.

Choose spanking.

My dom has continually forgotten specific boundaries of mine and I’ve found myself having to stop in the middle of play and remind him of my limits. Is this a red flag? They aren’t little things, it’s things like not wanting to be slapped in the face and not liking being choked. How should I address this??

This doesn’t sound like forgetting. It sounds like he’s testing you to see how much he can get away with, and because you’ve stood up to him, he’s using slapping and choking as a way to reimpose his authority. This is completely wrong, and an obvious red flag.

In any d/s relationship, the power resides with the submissive alone. Subs cede control and give their consent. Subs set the boundaries, not doms. A dom who is incapable of respecting their partner’s boundaries clearly does not respect the precious human being they’re playing with.

The worry here is that choking is very hazardous, and requires a conscientious partner who you can absolutely trust. I’d worry about any partner who seemed to care more about their own gratification than their partner’s legitimate safety concerns.

Boundaries exist to separate consensual play from abuse. You decide where that boundary is drawn. If he can not respect that, you are putting yourself in peril.

Please, stay safe.

I am kinky and enjoy spanking my partners, male or female. My current boyfriend expressed an interest in exploring spanking and we have started to play. He has discovered strong masochist tendencies. However, there is one issue: I am unsure about how to make sure he is safe/how to gauge how much he has taken. His skin is extremely dark and does not bruise. It also does not turn red easily. However, obviously he will be feeling the pain of the spanking. I was wondering if you had any advice.

There is a hazard here, as true masochists can zone out from pain. And pain can have a euphoric effect, it’s like a drug, and so your partner might not be lucid enough to reply to traditional questions like ‘Have you had enough?’ or to use their safewords.

So I’d spank and then pause. Then resume, and then pause again.

Leave gaps, which will allow your partner to enjoy the high of the pain you’ve inflicted, and then come down again. Be aware of how lucid they are. If they seem too high – wait until you resume the spanking.

Make use of these gaps. They’re far more than dead air.

Send your partner to the corner, perform an inspection, have them sit on their sore bottom and write about what they’re feeling. Have them masturbate, then stop. Fig them. Have them lick you out.

This is just good practice. Someone who’s inebriated can not give their consent, and it’s up to the Top to decide if the Bottom is no longer aware enough to genuinely participate. As long as your partner is talking, both of you can play safely.

One other tip is to look for liquid seeping from spanked skin – this indicates you’re damaging the dermis – the flesh that lies under the surface of the skin. Dab the spanked area with a tissue when you pause, and consider stopping if the skin is weeping or bleeding. If that happens, continuing to spank is just going to inflict physical damage on your partner.

I believe the best spankings, the most skilful spankings, are the ones that satisfy without ever breaking the recipient’s skin.

I enjoy reading everything you’ve written, but sometimes I kept thinking how in reality the strict teachers and professors could just give misbehaving students extra homework or lines to write, but decides that spankings are a better way for the students to…. “improve”.

I don’t think anyone has ever masturbated to the thought of being assigned more homework.

That would be a very niche kind of erotica, I’m not sure how much demand there’d be for it.

But you make an interesting observation.

In reality, I hope all here agree that spanking is an activity to be enjoyed between consenting adults. Yet whilst we’d be horrified if teachers actually did use physical force against their pupils – many of us quite like the idea of being held to account by some strict academic authority figure, and rather fancy being in the imagined pupils’ quaking shoes.

That’s because I believe a large number of those who read this blog are what I call The Naughty Well-behaved. Genteel individuals who’ve spent their lives studiously obeying the rules, which just makes their secret fantasises of transgression and punishment even more erotic.

In their fantasies, they crave someone strict to tell them to bend over.

To pull down their panties.

To scold them for their naughtiness.

To spank their bare bottom until it’s hot and pink.

And if there’s lines to be written, what better way to write them than sitting on  sore spanked cheeks…

Permission to be erotically surprised

Kinky relationships are misunderstood by many. To an outsider, it might seem like the
power lies with the Dom – they after all give the orders and expect to be obeyed. They appear to be active, the ones who spank, fondle, inspect and fuck, whilst their submissive partner appears to be passive, merely a canvas for their controlling artist to draw upon.

But this is a serious misunderstanding. The closer you get the more apparent the real truth becomes.

Because the true power really lies with the Sub, because it is their desires that initiate any scene, and only their continuing consent sustains it. It’s the Dom who is bending to the
desires of their partner, and which they’re happy to satisfy.

Yet if a stranger was to suddenly grab you by the wrist, drag your forcefully over their knee and wrestle down your clothes before spanking you hard. That would not only be creepy, but blatantly illegal too.

Consent is giving permission to be erotically surprised.

When a Sub tells their partner they want to be spanked, exciting possibilities are suddenly unlocked. It gives your partner authority, leeway to start improvising, to decide how you will be punished – and pleasured.

The Dom might be the Director of the scene, but the Sub is the Producer: the one who initiates it, who sets the limits, and who can call a halt to the production if it ever veers too off-course.

A Sub is only pretending to give up power, because in reality they are the one at the centre of the scene, the one having their desires attended to. Just because they’re experiencing pain, doesn’t mean they’re not being worshipped.

You’ll see this theme in several of the stories here. At one extreme is the story Control which is a good example of so-called “Topping from the Bottom”, but there are also subtler examples like Christmas Present, Daydreaming and The Sit-Down Dance, where the instigation of spankings is more of a gentle nudge.

What unites these stories is that the submissive protagonists are not involuntary or passive participants, but actively engaged in the pursuit of desires they seek.

The most common message I receive from readers is: how do I get someone to spank me?

My advice is always the same.

The best dominant partners have a strong moral compass. They do not push their own desires on others. It’s not shyness, it’s basic politeness, they wait to be invited inside.

Your consent is the key that unlocks the door. Your consent suspends reality and makes possible a transient fantasy world. Your consent enables your fantasies.

Your consent will get your bottom spanked.

I LOVE a good spanking. It resets me, it gets me excited, it does it all for me. But now I’m afraid to ask for it. My EX… He spanked me so hard that I was bruised and even had a bit of torn skin for -weeks and weeks- my hands were bound, I couldn’t do anything. I got no aftercare, I showered alone and went to bed without a word. It was traumatising. I want to overcome this fear. I just don’t know how.

I am very sorry to hear you suffered such brutal abuse, and that this wretched experience has tainted an aspect of your sexuality that is obviously so important to you.

But your trauma was caused by an abusive partner, not your love of spanking.
All those who suffer sexual assault have a right to regain sexual pleasure.

Mental wounds heal slowly, so it’s fine to take your time. I assume you began reading this blog because of the stories, and I hope these provide a safe space to reconnect with your spanking desires.

Allow yourself to fall in love with your spanking fantasies again, and remind yourself just how good a spanking can feel. The Beginners Guide to Self-spanking might provide a helpful sequence of activities to experiment with the sensations of smacking and the emotional reactions they provoke. Try journaling, and writing down what you experience, it can be a private diary.

Once you re-establish your comfort and confidence, you should be ready to think about spanking play with another partner. You need to be able to trust them, and they need to respect your safe word limits. Just start slowly and build up to the intensity you crave.

Best wishes, and I hope you enjoy your journey back to the wonderful world of spanking…

Do you have any hard limits?

My hardest limit is consent.

I only play with consenting adults. And it’s important to me that the consent of my playmates arises from their own desires, and they should be emotionally mature enough to give it. Consent for submission should be eager and willing, which means I will not take advantage of those who are unhappy, bored or self-hating. I think this is a hard limit every responsible dominant should have.

Those who’ve read the naughty games series will know I’m relaxed about pee play,
which can actually complement spankings quite nicely. Poo is just an
occupational hazard of anal play. And menstrual blood is a just fact of
human biology, I’m very relaxed about that.

But I’m not keen on breaking the skin. I consider it brutish to draw blood – a failure of imagination, when there are so many imaginative non-damaging ways to punish. Marks on the bottom are fine, but the visible effects of a good spanking should be short-lived.

After all, isn’t discipline an opportunity for redemption? I like to think once spanked, the slate is wiped clean. At least, until the next misdemeanour…

How would you deal with a partner (female) who is constantly misbehaving and not doing as told. I tried to tell them that there would be consequences and I’d spank her but she just doesn’t listen and when I try to punish her she just keeps squirming to the point where I can’t do anything

First, you must understand that her brattiness is part of the game, and not a problem to be fixed.

Most people are very well-behaved: they spend their whole lives being polite, respectful and courteous. But when they’re in private, with their most intimate acquaintances, they want to express a different side of themselves.

They want to be transgressive, they want to challenge the rules they’ve spent their entire lives studiously obeying. They want to push the boundaries, knowing full well there might be painful consequences beyond.

That’s why spanking is such a popular fetish. In my experience intelligent, ordinarily well-behaved ladies love fantasising about being naughty for once, and the prospect of someone strict holding them to account makes their panties wet.

Perhaps your partner likes to struggle, talk to her about what she desires. Perhaps she fantasises about being tied up, and being rendered helpless. Or for someone strict to see through her bratty little games and properly take control of her chaotic mind.

Likewise, if she’s struggling because she actually doens’t like being spanked. Then stop. Just because you’re sexually dominant does not earn you any special privileges. Her preferences are just as valid as yours.

Always remember that kinky sex is just adult play. It is not forcing your desires on your partner, it’s about transforming another human being’s deepest desires into something that brings pleasure to you both.

Understand her, and align with what she needs.

Play your role.

Be strict.

And be the authority she secretly craves.

Dear learned author, I like your writings. I want to know that if my girl enjoys spanking, can I extrapolate that she will also like anal sex in pursuit to get pleasure via pain ? Thanks.

No, you can’t extrapolate that, I’m afraid. You will have to ask her.

Consent is fundamental to kink. Now I’m not saying you should be signing a contract before you play, but you should always be talking to each other.

“Have you been a naughty girl?”

“You deserve a good hard spanking, don’t you?”

“Tell me how much you want my big stiff cock in your tight little ass.”

Asking her to affirm what happens next is hot, keeps you both on the same page, and prevents misunderstandings. After all, anal sex means different things to different people, from a finger in the bottom to a rough painful fucking. You need to be clear what your partner is happy to do.

And everyone should remember that just because your partner agreed to something once, it doesn’t mean they’ve consented to do it, evermore. A good dominant knows this, and respects this. That’s what makes them a good dom.

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