Spanking Theatre

Spanking stories for the theatre between your ears



I dream about being tied up in a cellar, being bought and sold, being used and abused in the most intimate ways… but I’m really scared to discuss this fantasy with a partner… do you have any advice?

I’m assuming that your anxiety stems from feelings of shame and embarrassment, rather than concerns for your own personal safety. If you fear that a partner might not respect your boundaries, any kind of kinky play is risky. But assuming you feel safe with your partner, then I can assure you that the fantasies you’ve described are nothing out of the ordinary.

Everyone thinks their own fantasies are the weirdest, but that’s because they’ve imagined them in such intense detail for so long. Perhaps it’s because we never really get to look inside the heads of others, and see what really lurks inside their equally filthy imaginations.

In reality, the desire to cede control to a lover, to be enslaved, kidnapped or imprisoned for an evening is a common one. What stops most people acting it out is their fear of how they’ll be perceived. And it’s not just submissives who feel this anxiety, some who’d love to dominate their partners are wary of throwing away the mask of niceness they’ve worn, perhaps ever since they first met. 

Imagine if your partner secretly fantasises about treating you as a sex slave, or tying you up in the basement, naked and blindfolded, with all three holes filled. How would you ever know?

“Tell me your most perverted fantasy”, you might challenge him.

And he’d tell you something just kinky enough to demonstrate he did have an erotic imagination, but bland enough that he wouldn’t risk being perceived as some kind of sexual monster.

“Er… I’d like to fuck you in the bottom”, he’d venture.

The opportunity to really remove your masks passes. And secretly you’re both rather disappointed.

Sometimes, in sensitive negotiations you need a proxy. A go-between.

Like stories.

Instead of asking your partner to bare their erotic soul to you, send them a story. Add a simple comment: “I loved this!”

You want to provoke him into asking the magic question: “Which bit?”

And then you tell him. Not your fantasy. Not what you want him to do to you. But the part of the story where you wish it had been you. Perhaps it’s the part where a slave is intimately inspected in the public marketplace before being bought and taken back to her new owner’s farm in chains.

Let your partner connect the dots. Let him find the parts that excite him too. There’s no need to justify or explain your fantasy in explicit detail, it can remain implicit. The story is just a starting point, a common frame of reference. Something you can improvise from.

“Hmmm. Maybe we should buy some cuffs…”

“Oh please Sir! Not the basement!”

Characters in erotic stories are like costumes for you to slip into. Ready-written screenplays that you can just act out, with an element of plausible deniability if needed, allowing you both to continue to pretend you’re nice and not at all perverted – if that’s what you need to. 

You were both just playing a part. And the story told you to do it.




When clouds above are dark and heavy

And the soggy air a smothering fug

When the first low rumbles echo in our ears

And tremble deep inside our tums

That’s when we share it

Just a glance, then without a word

We drop our clothes right where we stand

A puddle of garments left behind

As if we’d melted in the sultry heat

Hips sashaying as you recede

Just as the first raindrops splatter down

Bursting joyously on your naked skin

How I want to stay and stand and stare

At my cherished porcelain beauty

Now so vibrantly luminous

Under these drab battleship skies

But, I must go, and fetch the cane

Heavier drops patter on my head

As all around, the treetops writhe

Following footsteps in the cool lush grass

Until I find you waiting at the garden’s end

Already bent over the gazebo rail

Your slender legs spread so expectantly

Staring out across the golden fields

Glowing still under glowering skies

Witness the tempest’s dark stain spread

Across the sky, amid the clouds

As milk might spill into a pond

Feel the prickle of expectation

Your lover’s breath upon your neck

My fingers wet, despite our shelter

I know you love to be caned in thunderstorms

To yell your soul at the angry skies

Keep reading

The Alchemy of Anxiety

An anonymous reader writes:

This may be a bit odd, but I’m writing out of hope to gain some courage.

I’m in the midst of writing my physics dissertation and I’ve never cared so much about any work in my life. Doing the work taught me many things about my own capacity for intellectual heartbreak and triumph in equal measure. I am… proud of the work that I’ve done, yet deeply insecure about it, and perhaps above all, mortified by the thought of submitting it to the red ink of my advisor.

He’s been largely in the background for most of this process, but over all kind and patient, if blunt. Until very recently I didn’t understand that I could be so passionate about my work, and I’ll admit that I at first confused my own newfound perfectionism with a desire to please an intimidating authority figure—or at least avoid another serious talking to like the one he gave me early on in my work.

I introspected a lot about my authority issues (many), and tried to consider as objectively as possible that he might have a point, and decided to swallow my pride and keep trying. I am now glad that I did, I think. But I’m also apprehensive. I trust that he has my best interests in mind and doesn’t think badly of me, but I am deeply sensitive to criticism. And I know that criticism is both inevitable and, if given in good faith, vital for growth.

You may be wondering why I’m writing this to a spanking blog, although I wouldn’t be surprised if you understood completely: from reading your stories, I know that you’re deeply aware of the eroticism that may be found in the relationship between teacher and student, as well as in the learning process itself. It’s the lustful part of my brain, disconnected from reality, that wonders breathlessly what submitting to a different sort of humbling experience would be like: one experienced naked, across his lap.

I am eroticising a difficult experience to cope with it; the fantasy of accepting physical discipline from someone I respect and find attractive turns me on, while knowing that I must open myself up to criticism of my work terrifies me. Even so, I have now done a difficult thing by offering you my writing, my obvious kink for authority, and the knowledge that I’m a very naughty girl indeed, to be touching myself to the thought of a sound spanking from my mentor. Perhaps now, it may be easier to do the most difficult thing…

Thank you dear reader, for putting into words something that I expect many other readers of this blog will have felt themselves. It is common to eroticise difficult, awkward and embarrassing situations.

And this reveals a deeper truth:

Anxiety and fear are two separate emotions.

Some might think they’re the same, that anxiety is just a milder form of fear, but they’re not.

Anxiety originates from desire.

Fear originates from danger.

People eroticise situations that might otherwise be socially or physically painful. That’s why the most common sexual fantasies feature authority, punishment, nudity and humiliation. By fantasising about shame, we can take control it, like lightning in a bottle – and channel that powerful psychological energy into our minds’ pleasure centres instead. Safely, in the privacy of the bedroom.

If fear had the same psychological basis, the most common sexual fantasies would involve heights, snakes and creepy-crawlies. But they don’t. Fear is a primal response, a self-protection mechanism that’s billions of years old. It exists to keep us safe, from perils that could be lethal.

But anxieties arise from our wants: our desire to be liked, to be accepted, to be pretty, to be successful. All factors that might lead to us being considered socially and sexually attractive.

Those who consider authority figures erotic often fantasise about impressing them. They crave their attention, they want to be told they’re the cleverest, the most brilliant, or best-behaved.

That’s probably why the schoolgirl scenario is so popular, a chance to replay and eroticise your own memories. To imagine what it would be like if that teacher you had a crush on really was as strict as they were in your dreams. Your aversion to failure demands that even imaginary rule-breaking must have consequences. And for many, that means a good hard spanking on the bare bottom.

Many misinterpret the powerful urges of their own sexuality as
something bad, deviant or filthy. But in reality, your sexuality is a mental resource, as much an asset as your creativity, insight or concentration. The best erotic mentors are not motivated by their own gratification, but by a desire to teach others how to understand their own superpowers.

Your sexual energy is a fire, a means to transmute anxiety into pleasure. In a very personal act of alchemy…

Just Words

A well-read girl

Needs no pictures

Just a beautiful mind

A coy and subtle intelligence

Can conjure forth the filthiest treats

Come hither reader

Stoke your feverish fantasies

Stroke the page

Animate those words

And make them real


from the story “Punishment Panties”, photo credit: mloberg

I wrote this years ago, but every my experience since has strengthened my original belief. That blushing is a gift.

We should all aim to make our lovers blush. To make their hearts race. To make them glow with taboo delight, and shine with excitement… 

I want your beautiful mind

Your coy and subtle intelligence

Your filthy imagination filled

Feverish with fantasies

Come hither reader

Stroke the page

Conjure the words and make them real

Eroticism Revisited

A joy of roleplaying is revisiting and eroticising past experiences that we missed the chance to eroticise first time around.

Perhaps we weren’t brave enough, or too wary of getting caught.

That romantic dinner where you were going to tell her to slip off her panties.

Or events that weren’t sexual at the time, but now looking back, and rendered by your sexual imagination, now seem unavoidably erotic.

Like that time you were alone with a teacher in detention that afternoon. Nothing happened of course, but all these years later you’re still imagining what might have happened had your school still believed in spankings.

Or we might think back to our most cherished sexual memories. You might wish you’d been stricter with a former lover, grabbing their wrist and putting them over your knee. Or wish a lover had been stricter with you, and smacked your bottom until it was deliciously sore, before you got the fucking of your life. But it never quite worked out.

Fantasies are an opportunity to play out an alternative reality that never existed. It’s never too late. We don’t need to pine after past lovers, or lament missed opportunities, what we desire we can always recreate, alone – or with a new lover, in the here and now.

We can dress up, and play detention in the privacy of our homes. That salacious dinner date can occur in your own dining room. You can bump into your lover in a bar, pretend you’re meeting for the very first time, and fuck wantonly in a hotel room an hour after saying hello.

I write these stories not just to arouse, but to provide inspirations. Scenes an erotic tourist might enjoy visiting. Settings you might like to incorporate into your own play, be that a strict school, a Christmas Party, a Regency manor or a medieval castle.

Never feel regret for sexual opportunities that escaped you. Preserve your intimate memories, and cherish those personal treasures, because they unique to you, and will fuel your very own fantasies. Do not despair, new characters will step onto your stage – and then, you will be ready to play.

And it will be astonishing.

Adrenaline Rush

I know the secret

I know why spanking thrills you so

I can feel it thrum against my fingertips

When I put you across my knee

And grip your flailing hand behind your back

I feel the echoes of your racing heart

Pulsing as I hold your wrist

Kicking feet primed to fight or flight

Liquid fire surging through your veins

Until you pant in ragged gasps

Yet, you could be in the bath right now

Soaking in a cosy foamy dream

In some soft focus cartoon of femininity

But I know how your body really works

There’s a time for nice, and a time for pain

A delicious throbbing kind of sore

Where each smack adds more powder to the keg

And polishes your lips to a glistening sheen

A disciplinarian understands the rush’s power

A naughty girl is made to wait for what she deserves

Marinating in the hormone of shame and dread

Anxiously maturing like the finest wine

Already imagining the first whacks across your bum

A thundering heart making your whole body glow

Until, at last, I pull your panties down

To reveal your shimmering silver flow

A hot palm rests

Upon your quivering cheeks

I know your secret

How spanking really turns you on

As an aside, recent research indicates adrenaline is fundamental to the female sexual response. This might seem obvious to those of us with a kinky disposition, but the prevailing medical wisdom has long been that female arousal was best achieved by “turn on, tune in, chill out”. But this belief seems to be based on cultural assumptions rather than physiological evidence, crass generalisations that define femininity in terms of soft focus romance, candles and whispers.

But if that were true, kinky individuals would be having the worst sex in the world. Because almost everything we do seems to be designed to set the heart thumping. Anticipation and foreshadowing, tying up, sensory denial, the infliction of pain, anal penetration, shame and humiliation – these are all activities that make palms sweat and pulses race.

That’s why your partner’s panties are soaked when she’s spent the whole day thinking about the spanking you promised her. That’s why her tummy flips when you pin her down or cuff her hands behind her back, as you’re denying her primal urge to flight. That’s why she comes so hard after her bottom has spanked until it’s hot and pink, and it doesn’t matter if you spanked her, or she spanked herself.

That’s why even just the thought of good hard spanking makes her wet. And that’s why these stories even exist at all.

Now, bend over, young lady.

What Nice Men Don’t Say To Nice Women

  • I want to spank your bare bottom.
  • I want to tie you up.
  • I want to thoroughly inspect and penetrate your tight little bottom hole.
  • I want you to dress up in school uniform, and address me as Sir.
  • I want you to text me at random, and tell me you’ve been a naughty girl.
  • I want to promise you a spanking, and have you think about it all day long.
  • I want you to wear a butt plug when we go out to dinner.
  • I want you to go the ladies, take off your panties, and drop them in my lap.
  • I want to smack your bum pink, and you to thank me afterwards.

I recently wrote a post in response to a lady who wanted to be spanked by her man. It got me thinking – because it isn’t just ladies who can be reluctant to raise the introduction of spanking into a relationship, men have exactly the same problem too.  

Most men are fundamentally nice. That doesn’t mean meek milquetoasts desperate to agree and avoid awkwardness, it just means many blokes have encountered quite enough macho brutes in our lives, and we’ve no desire to come across as one ourselves. We consider ourselves our sweetheart’s protector, not her punisher – even if that thought secretly turns us on…

Emotionally aware men understand relationships require some conciliation, but that’s not what we fantasise about. Yet sometimes it feels easier to keep those desires hidden than reveal our darker secrets, for fear of rocking the boat. We worry about what are partner thinks, and we know we’ll spend far more time with her doing everyday things together than we’ll spend being intimate.

Look at the list that began this post. How does each sentence begin?

“I want…” – not “I’d like…”

Nice men are wary of expressing their wants, it makes us sound like demanding little boys. We’re grown up now, polite and civilised – so we phrase our desires in friendly, conciliatory language. We yearn to say “I want…” but it jars with the mask of niceness we’ve worn for as long as we can remember.

So we get into a routine of vanilla, uncontroversial sex; haunted by the shattering possibility of her horrified rejection of our perverted suggestions, and imagined conversations between her girlfriends afterwards.

“He wanted you to do WHAT???”

Their little group gasped in unison, a chorus of virtuous indignation.

“I know!” she sniffed, “It’s as if I hardly knew him!”

In many respects though, that’s absolutely true – your lover indeed barely knows you. Each of us are massive psychological icebergs, drifting through the turbulent ocean of life, with only the tiniest fraction of ourselves exposed to public scrutiny. And what is seen is carefully curated.

Yet what lies beneath is much more exciting, (I wrote a story about that once).

Jung called our hidden depths The Shadow, but it’s not a dark side, it’s our repository of secrets and thoughts we decide to keep to ourselves. We are
social creatures, and society functions because we have masks to wear
and roles to play.

As we grow up we learn to be discreet, deciding what
side of ourselves to present in public. But that’s ok, our culture might
unravel if everyone was suddenly completely candid with each other,
there’s nothing wrong with keeping certain thoughts and desires private.

I think all men will recognise this reticence about revealing our true desires, even if that modesty no longer restrains them. Some will have been bold enough to unmask themselves, in a way that is far more profound than simply removing their clothes. I hope all those who did found their relationships enriched.

If you’re yet to take this leap into the dark, and you want to, begin the conversation.

I chanced upon this terrific video from the wonderful modern philosophers at The School of Life:

Do watch it, and if it resonates with you, you might consider sharing it with your partner. Although the subject matter is profound, its cartoonish presentation should help keep any subsequent discussion light-hearted.

And then, when she asks:

“So, what does a nice man like you not say to a nice woman like me…?”

She is inviting you to be candid.

So tell her.

“I want to spank you. On your bare bottom…”

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