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Spanking Theatre

Spanking stories for the theatre between your ears

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kink

Choose Spanking

Choose spanking.

Choose a slipper. Choose a cane. Choose a ruler. Choose a uniform. Choose a big whacking hairbrush.

Choose
strictness. Choose submission. Choose one of a thousand different disciplinary fantasies.

Choose a disciplinarian to put you over
their knee and pull down your panties. Choose to get excited, by the developing soreness in your hot pink cheeks. Choose to squirm and moan and gasp, as you get a good hard spanking on your naughty bare bottom.

Choose to stand in
the corner afterwards, aching with arousal, imagining just what might
happen next. Choose walking down the street with a hot glow radiating
beneath your skirt, your panties in another’s pocket, your erotic secret barely hidden in plain sight.

Then choose to do it all again.

Choose hot, stinging, throbbing pleasure.

Choose spanking.

Hi, just wondered (if you’re happy to share) how you met your spanking partners? Online and in real life? I’m keen to have some spanking fun in real life, but don’t think Fetlife is my scene. I’ve had online partners which have been great, and some not so great and therefore often worry about boundaries and developing full trust etc.

All the kinky relationships I’ve ever had have developed naturally. We began talking, and we learned about each others’ interests and personalities.

The relationships that developed further all had some kind of spark, a sense you were talking to a kindred spirit who wanted to get to know you.

Fundamentally, I was developing a friendship first.

When I was young and foolish I considered partners to be like a scarce and immensely valuable prize, who had to be somehow won over.

As I grew up, and became a bit wiser, I realised that mindset was wrong, and worse, it wasn’t leading to fulfilling relationships.

I stopped chasing people. I aimed for a new outcome – to make friends, by being approachable, respectful, and engaging to talk to. Sometimes friends develop into so much more. But even if they didn’t, I know my life is immeasurably enriched by knowing them.

So my starting advice is, begin conversations.

I recommend maintaining your anonymity for as long as makes sense. so you can’t be harassed or blackmailed should things turn sour.

Some people may cross boundaries and make you uncomfortable. If so, tell them that. If their pursuit creeps you out, cut the thread. You can block them if they’re getting too weird.

Trust does take a long time to build. Because what you’re actually learning about is a stranger’s motivations. Are they motivated by lust? Or narcissism? Or attention seeking? Or a desire to express their authority? And is that motivation acceptable to you?

Developing trust is difficult because you can’t assess it directly. You can’t just ask one day: “can I trust you?”

You’ll both need to do something that seems quite intimidating:  drop your own masks, and allow each other to see behind it. Through this blog, thousands of complete strangers have come to know the details of my fantasies, and what I believe about not just sex, but life in general. In the course of your conversations with a potential partner, you’ll do the same too.

As your initial question suggests, some people are too keen to skip the trust-building part. That is itself a red flag. It comes across as creepy, even if both of you really like spanking, and think about it all the time. Cutting corners increases the risk you don’t really understand who you’re talking to, and that can have bad outcomes later.

So, to summarise, this is my advice for meeting play partners – which is equally applicable to meeting people online, and for getting to know others you might encounter in real life. This applies whatever your sexual preference, whether you’re a top or a bottom, or anywhere in between.

  • Begin conversations, without expectations.
  • Make friendly conversation.
  • Continue the fun conversations and cut the creepy ones.
  • Develop trust.
  • See what happens.
  • Who knows?

Sexual Perspectives

Anatomy, gender, dominance and sexuality are completely orthogonal things – one does not imply anything about the other, unless you want it to.

Everyone gets to decide how these sexual concepts are related, this this their sexual preference. The open-minded will be comfortable with a diverse range of connections between these concepts. Those who are sexually conservative have a very narrow view of what’s permissible. What a pity.

My previous post generated some interesting messages, so I thought I’d expand on the concept. It’s clear that when it comes to sex, many get very anxious indeed about what’s ‘right’ and ‘normal’. Which is why some folks’ sex lives are driven by a need for validation, a need for conformity, rather than what actually turns them on.

Because if your notions of sexuality are rigid, any experimentation might be considered perverse or shameful, unfeminine or emasculating.

To me though, different sexual preferences and identities are just costumes. This is why I’m able to compose erotic fiction and most never attempt it. It’s what enables me to flit into the minds of the characters I create so easily. And why many who read my stories are still convinced I’m actually a woman.

Remember, there’s no ideal. No universal sexual preference. If you’re pansexual,and  happy to try anything with anyone, that’s lovely, and I wish you a lovely time. Personally, I’m not. I do have my own preferences, just as others have theirs. 

Perversion isn’t a sexual preference beyond your own preferences. Perversion is overstepping the consensual boundaries of others.

Consider an example of what a simple change of perspective might bring.

What if a woman was to use her phallic dildo ‘the wrong way around’ – with the base between her legs, so it juts out proudly, just as if she had an erection?

Perhaps the base will permit the phallus to be slipped inside her slit, or she’ll keep it in place by squeezing her thighs together. Now she can stroke her new penis just like men do, transferring her juices to its shaft, making it slick and slippery. How many women ever play with their dildos like that? As a way of changing their sexual identity, rather than just a means of physical stimulation.

What might happen, as she grinds herself against the shaft, or feels its base push deeper inside her, if all kinds of transgressive fantasies begin to fill her mind?

Like, what do men fantasise about? Perhaps she’s imagining herself in the mind of her first boyfriend, as he imagines all the things he wanted to do to her. Such a naughty boy, wanking in bed each night, longing to plunge this big stiff cock into her tight little slit.

Isn’t that interesting. Now, instead of using her dildo to fill herself, she’s magically switched perspectives, so now she’s imagining herself being filled. She can see herself as others might see her, as an object of sexual desire.

Perhaps she might go further, and imagine what it would be like to actually do the fucking. What it would have been like if she’d told him to bend over, and lubricated his bottom hole with her juices. What it would be like to stand behind him, her hardness throbbing between his firm cheeks, before pushing her own phallus into his tight little hole.

Anatomy, gender, dominance and sexuality. Just a minor change of perspective on one, and suddenly, everything can become fluid. And new possibilities suddenly open.

Not everything needs to change, of course, it might only be a subtle shift. A submissive woman with her dildo between her legs can still be spanked like a naughty boy. Perhaps ‘he’ got an erection in class, and now ‘he’ must be inspected and punished just like any other naughty boy, stiff penis and bottom hole examined before and after a good hard whacking. Perhaps the disciplinarian will be merciful afterwards, sliding a finger into ‘his’ spanked bottom, and reaching round to work ‘his’ shaft until ‘he’ comes.

If you own a vulva and a dildo, why not try this experiment for yourself. Pull down your panties, and place the dildo against your mound, like you had an erection. How does that change your sexual expectations? If you lie back, with the dildo held between your thighs, how does that affect what you fantasise about?

There is no wrong way. Only a thousand new possibilities to play, waiting for your mind to venture further.

Some readers might recognise this idea, it’s the theme of my story Grimoire:

Every night I take my precious book from its little metal haven. I lie back on my bed, turning to a random page, and read some centuries-old words under my breath like a magic incantation. Then I close my eyes, and I am transported.

You would never believe the wonders I have seen. My feeble descriptions do them pathetically little justice.

My grimoire is not just the scribbled memories of long-ago spankings, it is a portal into the minds of ancient witnesses. Through it I have shared the thoughts of hundreds of men and women, boys and girls. I have seen every flavour of cruelty and compassion, power and authority, dominance and submission. I have explored every aspect of eroticism and sexuality, from the coy to the explicit, from the mediocre to the sublime.

Through it, I know what it’s like to be a man, how it feels to secretly stiffen as you spank a beautiful arse, how it feels to see her folds winking back between her kicking legs, and the frustration of knowing you can not have her. Through it I have experienced the glorious sensation of reaching between hot spanked cheeks to find her soaking wet, the delight of being absolutely rigid, and the epiphany of slipping inside her slick tight hole.

Through it, I have given and received the tender love of women.

I have loved a man through the eyes of a man.

I have been unsure of my gender and loved regardless.

I have experienced pleasure in outrageously decadent balls, parties and orgies.

I have lost and taken others’ innocence.

I have disciplined out of love and out of anger.

I have spanked to punish and spanked to pleasure.

I have explored the erotic ingenuities of tying up.

I have induced unexpected climaxes in girls and boys with skilful whackings.

I have bared the bottoms of princes and princesses.

I have scolded and seduced in a dozen different tongues.

And I have played all manner of secret games.

If only I could copy my little magic book of spanking, and show humanity its sexuality as others have seen it.

Doesn’t that sound like a idea worth encouraging?

Although I’m a cis woman, I really like being referred to by male pronouns in sexual situations, or even called a good boy. Sometimes, just putting on male clothing gets me really turned on. How normal would you say this is? I don’t quite know what to make of my kink. Love your blog, thank you for answering so many sex-related questions ❤️

It’s perfectly normal.

That’s the wonderful thing about roleplay. You can be whoever you want to be, whenever you want to be. 

Who says the characters you enjoy inhabiting have to be the same gender as your anatomy?

Dressing up is a common fantasy, and cross-dressing is a very popular activity. How cool is it, that clothes, like words, are capable of transporting your consciousness into another character’s mind? As if you were donning an enchanted mask, granting you the power to momentarily experience reality through another’s eyes.

Personally, as a straight cis male, I prefer to play with those who have a vulva. But I find it thrilling to discipline gamine women who dress up as tomboys. It’s a delight to be able to construct a shared fantasy where I scold them as naughty little boys, and address them using male names. When I pull down their shorts or trousers, it doesn’t matter that I see a smooth bare slit when I pull down their underpants.

I’ve also hugely enjoyed playing a headmistress and an Edwardian governess too. I can be just as strict wearing women’s clothes, because to me it’s just a costume, not a sexuality transplant.

It’s actually quite exciting to be called Miss. To discipline a girl with a maternal compassion, or with a schoolmistress’s sternness. To undress and inspect her, because “you’ve seen it all before”. All whilst having an erection beneath one’s skirt, which we all do our best not to acknowledge.

So, there’s nothing wrong with your kink (or mine). Imagine how dull your fantasy life would be if you could only ever be you. Instead we have access to a vast wardrobe of virtual sexual personas. We can be someone new for a night, whenever we choose. It’s close to magic.

Isn’t that profoundly wonderful?

You keep mentioning these amazing, confident, smart women that you play with. Where do you find them?

Try not to think of play partners as some kind of treasure to be found. Or even worse, some treasure to be won.

Instead think of how one might go about finding any new friend.

By being approachable, respectful, and engaging to talk to.

But you also need to do something that seems quite intimidating: you need to drop your own mask, and allow others to see behind it. Through this blog, thousands of complete strangers have come to know the details of my fantasies, and what I believe about not just sex, but life in general.

When you’re that candid, sometimes you don’t need to go find kindred spirits. Because they will find you.

You mentioned before that spanking partners should be ‘emotionally mature’. Please could you explain this further? Thanks.

To me, emotional maturity in a partner means she has a high level of self-esteem. That she is mature enough to know her own mind and her own sexual preferences, with the confidence to pursue her own desires.

To use the superhero cliche, with great power comes great responsibility, and assuming a sexually dominant role gives you a position of extraordinary power – it should be wielded carefully, and with great empathy.

I’d rather play with an equal – someone strong-willed, who I knew was submitting from a position of psychological strength, with her own identity, desires and fantasies.

Some have asked where I get my inspiration from. And in truth, it’s mostly through connecting with some wonderful individuals, whose brilliant minds have challenged and inspired my own imagination.

Sexual submissiveness is not about doing what you’re told. That’s mindless slavery. It’s about being confident enough to cede control, to take chances, and weave shared magic together.

Honestly I’ve been into spanking for the longest time and even though I’m about to turn 20 and I’m still a virgin I just know it’s a dealbreaker for me if they can’t provide that. Is that weird?

Not weird at all.

Many who adore spanking couldn’t imagine getting together with someone if spanking wasn’t on the erotic menu.

When you’re kinky, you realise that no one sexual activity has primacy above all others. Kinky folk understand everyone has their preferences, and we give ourselves the permission to prioritise what we value the most.

That doesn’t mean kinky folk don’t enjoy intercourse, but we have a clear difference in outlook between vanilla folk who see intercourse as the peak of sexual experience, and consider activities like spanking as just ‘foreplay’ or sideshows to the ‘main event’.

Be true to your own sexual compass. It’s yours alone.

Sorry if this has been asked before, but what do you look for in a spanking partner? Is an interest in spanking usually enough for playing compatibility? Thanks.

What I consider most important in prospective play partners is – would we make good friends?

Many of those I discipline I’ve known for years. Spanking is a very intimate activity. I spank partners because I know they find it enjoyable, because they yearn for it, and the satisfaction they feel from being properly and strictly disciplined is what satisfies me. I wouldn’t obtain the same fulfilment from just inflicting sore bottoms on strangers.

Making friends takes time, it means appreciating others as human beings, rather than naked bodies. It means taking time to understand why spanking turns them on, what unique fantasies they imagine, and how your two imaginations can come together to create something wonderful.

Kinky play is no different from any other play.

It’s best enjoyed with the very best of friends.

It’s not a regular question so you don’t have to answer it if you don’t feel comfortable but do you think discipline and rules with structure can help people who struggles with their mental health. For me having some rules to follow helps me focus and with a sort of D/s relationship there are similar aspects like knowing wants and needs of the other person and open communication.

Yes I do. I actually wrote a post on the need for rules last year:

https://spankingtheatre.tumblr.com/post/184509985035/the-naughty-well-behaved

Irrespective of mental health, most people yearn for order and structure in their lives. Chaos and uncertainty just lead to anxiety. Personalities that thrive on anarchic disorder are very rare, and tend to have their own struggles.

By eroticising rules, order and discipline in kink play we help soften them, we turn things that could be sources of anxiety into things that are paradoxically arousing.

A good dominant takes charge, kindly and firmly, and helps their partner feel that their world is simpler, that their rules are stricter and less ambiguous, and the costs of transgression might be sore or embarrassing, but breaking a rule won’t feel like life’s foundations are crumbling away.

That’s why spanking fantasies are so popular. The naughty schoolgirl and her stern headmaster, the young lady and her strict governess, the brat sent her room, and dozens of other variations. A quick ritualised bottom smacking, and the slate is wiped clean, emotionally and mentally.

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