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Spanking Theatre

Spanking stories for the theatre between your ears

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masochism

I am kinky and enjoy spanking my partners, male or female. My current boyfriend expressed an interest in exploring spanking and we have started to play. He has discovered strong masochist tendencies. However, there is one issue: I am unsure about how to make sure he is safe/how to gauge how much he has taken. His skin is extremely dark and does not bruise. It also does not turn red easily. However, obviously he will be feeling the pain of the spanking. I was wondering if you had any advice.

There is a hazard here, as true masochists can zone out from pain. And pain can have a euphoric effect, it’s like a drug, and so your partner might not be lucid enough to reply to traditional questions like ‘Have you had enough?’ or to use their safewords.

So I’d spank and then pause. Then resume, and then pause again.

Leave gaps, which will allow your partner to enjoy the high of the pain you’ve inflicted, and then come down again. Be aware of how lucid they are. If they seem too high – wait until you resume the spanking.

Make use of these gaps. They’re far more than dead air.

Send your partner to the corner, perform an inspection, have them sit on their sore bottom and write about what they’re feeling. Have them masturbate, then stop. Fig them. Have them lick you out.

This is just good practice. Someone who’s inebriated can not give their consent, and it’s up to the Top to decide if the Bottom is no longer aware enough to genuinely participate. As long as your partner is talking, both of you can play safely.

One other tip is to look for liquid seeping from spanked skin – this indicates you’re damaging the dermis – the flesh that lies under the surface of the skin. Dab the spanked area with a tissue when you pause, and consider stopping if the skin is weeping or bleeding. If that happens, continuing to spank is just going to inflict physical damage on your partner.

I believe the best spankings, the most skilful spankings, are the ones that satisfy without ever breaking the recipient’s skin.

How can I make welts last longer? I want to wake up the morning after a spanking and feel sore

If you’re seeking a harder spanking, you should read this post on Newton’s 2nd Law, and how it pertains to spanking.

For more mass, use a heavier implement, like a thick paddle or wooden hairbrush.

For more acceleration, use something lighter, thinner and stingier, like a cane or a crop, as explained in this post.

But fundamentally, I don’t consider a physical marks and bruises to be the most desirable outcome from a spanking. I believe the aim should be achieving a deep psychological satisfaction, better to wake in the morning with a clear mind and some great memories, than with a sore bottom and a frustrated head.

I know good disciplinarians are very rare. So if you’re not lucky enough to have one, do try exploring by yourself, remember there’s more to a spanking than physical pain, and that every spanking is experienced not by the buttocks, but by the awesomely sophisticated region between your ears…

I have a question… I’ve read a lot about bdsm. And i find it very interesting and hopefully would like to try it, however the thought of spanking reminds me of my parents spanking me as a child… And i dont like the thought of pain. How do you differentiate sexual spanking from punishment spanking? I think for myself i wouldnt be able to handle it but reading your stories has me second guessing the thought

spankingtheatre:

What an excellent question.

What’s the difference between a sexual spanking and a punishment spanking?

In a word, the difference is play.

Once we could spend days just exploring, playing games and having fun. But then life got all serious! Luckily, at about the same age, we discover an exciting new side of ourselves: our sexuality. For those with a healthy notion of sex, it’s a wonderful adventure playground, somewhere we can let our imaginations run free, be someone different, break taboos and do something naughty.

A sexual spanking is motivated by this playfulness, the desire to have fun.

Whereas a punishment spanking is motivated by deterrence, the infliction of pain is meant as a reminder: don’t do that again.

This context is all-important, like all games in an adventure playground, sometimes you might fall off and get the odd bruise, but the enjoyment of play makes the odd bump worthwhile.

And the pleasure derived from spanking is subtle. Some people feel a buzz from discomfort, like those who enjoy extremely hot food; others enjoy donning a new persona through role-playing. There’s a reason this blog is called Spanking Theatre, it’s not just the theatre between your ears, it’s also the theatre you can create in your own bedroom. Together you and your partner can improvise an endless number of intimate dramas; share erotic games and wonderful secret adventures. Imagine playing out a scene over successive evenings, as you deepen the characters, and explore each others’ imaginations.

But why spanking?

Spanking has an innate ritual and theatre that makes it a rich seam for role-playing. Some things just seem to be intrinsically erotic: nudity, shame, the heady cocktail of fear, excitement and humiliation. Then there’s the power of commanding or being commanded to do something with sexual connotations, such as undressing or bending over. All these help give spanking the magical ingredient of erotic charge.

Hence in a sexual spanking, the mood is informal and theatrical. There’s a story being told, and the aim is to tantalise and tease the senses. Compare this with the joyless execution of a punishment spanking.

The other key difference is that sexual spankings are consensual. When you partner tells you you’ve been a very naughty girl, and you deserve a good hard spanking, you can – at any time – tell them you don’t want to play anymore. And that’s fine.

Play involves trust, it’s why even the severest spanking is never torture. It’s important that deep down, she enjoys how a spanking makes her feel, and she knows he loves and cares about her enough to give it to her.

As a result, a sexual spanking results in positive emotions like arousal and intimacy. Whereas a punishment spanking only generates negative emotions such as fear and resentment. I’ve never once put my fingers between a spanked lady’s legs and found her to be dry.

Bright red bottoms make eye-catching porn photos, but don’t think every spanking has to end in tears and hot painful cheeks. Some might gain more satisfaction from the psychological aspects of spanking, the ritual, the shame, the surrender of control. And that’s fine too. Some might enjoy just a few taps, just enough to make their bottoms tingle; whilst others might be very aroused by the mere threat of a spanking, the cool slipper rubbing across their bare bum, as she waits in delicious anticipation for a whack that might never come.

It’s your playground, you make up the rules.

And I’ll continue to whisper ideas into your ear.

I hope this helps.

An excellent article by the wise minds of the School of Life, explaining the psychological reasons why pain is not always punishment, and pleasure is not always a reward…

Are You a Masochist?

The Naughty Well-Behaved

I find it delightful that those who were once so well-behaved are those who fantasise most about being naughty.

Simply because: it’s fun to be naughty.

It’s fun to fantasise about breaking the rules you’ve spent your entire life studiously obeying.

Especially when there’s someone strict to set the boundaries.

This respect for rules is often found in those who’d actually feel incredibly guilty should they ever be caught breaking actual laws, or transgressing social expectations.

But that powerful emotional response can be channelled into powerfully arousing urges. That’s exactly why a desire to be naughty is common theme in erotic fantasies, a psychological outlet for guilt that can be satisfied in private, in the safe, intimate playground of the bedroom.

We want to surround ourselves with nice people, good citizens with no desire to vandalise society or abuse others. So ‘misbehaviour’ for the well-behaved is about taboo breaking, invented little transgressions that damage nothing, yet demand physical punishment from trusted disciplinarians.

That’s why spanking fantasies are so popular. The naughty schoolgirl and her stern headmaster, the young lady and her strict governess, the brat sent her room, and dozens of other variations.

These are imaginary stories that satisfy a deep, psychological need to be punished, a context for the infliction of an enjoyable level of pain, in order to satisfy deeply private masochistic tendencies. 

So show me a good girl,

and I’ll lift her veil…

and show you someone

very naughty indeed…

Dear learned author, I like your writings. I want to know that if my girl enjoys spanking, can I extrapolate that she will also like anal sex in pursuit to get pleasure via pain ? Thanks.

No, you can’t extrapolate that, I’m afraid. You will have to ask her.

Consent is fundamental to kink. Now I’m not saying you should be signing a contract before you play, but you should always be talking to each other.

“Have you been a naughty girl?”

“You deserve a good hard spanking, don’t you?”

“Tell me how much you want my big stiff cock in your tight little ass.”

Asking her to affirm what happens next is hot, keeps you both on the same page, and prevents misunderstandings. After all, anal sex means different things to different people, from a finger in the bottom to a rough painful fucking. You need to be clear what your partner is happy to do.

And everyone should remember that just because your partner agreed to something once, it doesn’t mean they’ve consented to do it, evermore. A good dominant knows this, and respects this. That’s what makes them a good dom.

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