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Spanking Theatre

Spanking stories for the theatre between your ears

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The Secret of Sexual Spontaneity

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The secret to sexual spontaneity is… careful planning.

There’s a pernicious myth about sex. That it “just happens”. That everyone’s up for sex, all the time. That new and exciting bedroom activities are improvised on the spot, forged from the white hot furnace of our mutual sexual excitement.

None of these is really true.

Real life isn’t like a porn video, where you go from answering the door to orgasm in under 15 minutes. (If your life is like a porno, congratulations, you can stop reading now and get ready for your next fucking).

For the rest of us, we’d all like to be more spontaneous, to introduce new activities into our sexual relationships, to keep things hot and spicy. But what if you can’t think of anything?

It’s the lovers’ equivalent of writers block. You wrack your mind, trying to think up something kinkier, crazier or more intense. But that’s a tough challenge, and more often that not, you’ll find your mind going blank.

Don’t believe me? Then try this little experiment.

How many sex acts can you name?

Go on, just name them, say them aloud.

Soon, the images you summon to mind will run dry. You know there’s more, but you just can’t recall them. Dozens of ways to give oral sex. Hundreds of positions for fucking. That’s because our
minds aren’t build for that kind of remembering. That’s why we have
books and libraries and search engines. If we need to know something, we know we just need to look it up.

Hence spicing things up doesn’t necessary mean an escalation of being ever kinkier and filthier. But taking inspiration from elsewhere, incorporating ideas you’ve found, rather than just made up there and then. It might not sound sexy, but advance planning is actually pretty hot.

So, what do I mean by planning? Where do you get ideas? And how do you incorporate them into your sex life?

I’m going to let you in on a little sex secret…


Take turns planning a Sex Night

Yes, put it in your diaries. Good sex is important. Commit to it.

The idea of Sex Night is you and your partner will take turns being the instigator. If it’s your turn, you’ll gather ideas from pictures, videos and stories, source the necessary props, and then as the night unfolds, you’ll direct it, giving the appropriate instructions.

Taking turns being the instigator doesn’t mean you have to switch, (unless you both want to), so if one of you prefers to dom or sub, the instigator can plan activities accordingly. This is how I want you to dominate me, or this is how I want to submit to you. The point of taking turns is that both of you get to choose, and so introduce the other to activities that arouse you.

Here’s an example taken completely at random. It just happens to be at the top of my Tumblr feed right now.

He ties up his lover, blindfolds and puts headphones on her, playing music so she can neither see or hear. Then he strokes her, gently. He kisses her lips and then her breasts. He gags her moans with his hand as he caresses her, then runs an ice cube down her body. Only when her vulva is hot and swollen does he sooth it with the ice. Only then does he pleasure her with his tongue.

All that, from a single post!

Note how none of these activities is particularly original, surprising or excessively kinky. It’s seeing the combination of several simple erotic activities that’s so inspiring, because they’re so simple we know we’d be able to intimate them, and do them ourselves.

You could share the post with your partner, and whisper: this is what
I’m going to do with you tonight. Or, make it a surprise – and have them
think you’re some kind of super-creative sexual mastermind. After all, the dirty little
secret of Creativity is just being skilled at hiding your sources.

As you get more confident, you can use what you find as the basis for your own improvisations. If you like spanking, play the sound of a spanking scene through the headphones, let your partner imagine the scene they’re listening to, as if they’re in the same room facing the wall, waiting their turn. Every now and then, lift their headphones and whisper into their ear that they’ll be getting their bottom smacked soon.

Erotica and porn can be more than masturbation material, each scene is a potential sexual inspiration. Find what arouses you both, and enjoy the journey of mutual discovery.

Be inspired and have fun…

Those interested in my recent post on stories and porn, and who want to read more on the subject of erotic fulfillment will enjoy this excellent article from the philosphers of the ever insightful Book of Life project. Whilst they talk about visual porn, I think their suggestions are equally applicable to erotic writing too. 

On making better porn

Do you have any video porn recommendations? Spankings like your writing?

I have to confess I’m not a big fan of video porn. It can be arousing to watch a good spanking, whether it’s in porn, movies or real-life, and I know there are some cool ethical porn-makers like Pandora Blake at dreamsofspanking. But personally, I don’t watch porn. I find it much more satisfying to use my sexual energy creatively, to either play with others, or channel it into writing.

A while ago I wrote a post about why I prefer stories to porn, I recommend it, as it explains why you’re unlikely to see spankings like the stories you read here.

The main reason is that visual erotica comes fully rendered. It is created to gratify its viewers, preferably in about 10 minutes, and so it leaves little to the imagination. Porn is a performance piece, where the past is perfunctory, no need for history, motivations or backstory. As a result porn lacks drama and ambiguity, there’s little need for imaginings, we know a happy ending is inevitable, and we know we won’t miss a thing.

Stories, by contrast, require the reader’s participation. In the gap between reading words and understanding them, words magically condense into images, creating a world coloured by the reader’s unique mind. Stories inspire a one-off piece of theatre, conjured up and played out in the space between each reader’s ears. What I find so wonderful is that even if a story is read by a billion people, no two will ever imagine those same words exactly the same.

Visual porn is limited by real-world constraints, which require money to solve. Sets are expensive to create, actors need to be paid, post-production, editing, hosting and marketing all add additional costs.

But the cinema between your ears has no such constraints. You have a limitless special effects budget, your favourite actors, your pick of the world’s locations, and you in the director’s chair. All you need is a good screenplay, but I give those away for free…

Witnessing

Imagine wandering aimlessly through an old country house.
A soft burgundy carpet muffling your footsteps.
Out of the silence you hear something… a faint slapping.
Curiosity quickens your pace, the noise gets closer.
Now you can hear smacks, and gasps… and moans.
All coming from behind a sturdy wooden door.
You lower an eye to the keyhole.
Beyond, a young lady over a man’s knee.
Her pink summer dress pulled up, her knickers lie discarded.
One arm pinned behind her back.
You watch agape as her legs kick and flail.
And her bare bottom is warmed by his cruel leather slipper.

So what would you do?
Knock on the door? Intervene? Rescue her?
Or kneel beside the keyhole, and watch her bum turn pink?
As you feel yourself tingle.

Or imagine you’ve been sent to fetch some books from a classroom store.
Suddenly, a teacher and pupil enter the adjoining room.
You hear the teacher scold your classmate for her misbehaviour.  
You stifle a gasp as she’s told to lift her skirt… and bend over.
You tiptoe towards the edge of the annex.
You daringly peer round the corner, hardly daring to breathe.
Just in time to glimpse her panties being slowly tugged down.
And teacher’s wooden ruler tapping against her naked cheeks…

What would you do?
Cough and step out from behind the corner, apologise and leave?
Or stay and risk an occasional peek at her shameful dance?
Every stolen glance increasing your chance of discovery.
But intensifying your disgraceful excitement.


* * *

Erotic stories are like witnessing a spanking through a keyhole.
We eavesdrop as a miscreant is scolded.
We catch glimpses of a forbidden scene, letting our imagination fill in what we can not see.
We indulge in illicit imagineering.

By contrast, porn leaves nothing to the imagination. Porn is a performance piece. The past is perfunctory, porn is about the present, the moment, gratification. Who cares how the washing machine broke, when the hunky plumber has such a satisfyingly large tool. Porn has no drama, no ambiguity, no need for imaginings, we know a happy ending is inevitable, and we won’t miss a thing.

But stories require the reader’s participation. In the gap between reading words and understanding them, words magically condense into images, creating a world coloured by the reader’s unique mind. Stories inspire a one-off piece of theatre, conjured up and played out in the space between each reader’s ears. Even if a story is read by a billion people, no-one else will ever imagine those same words in exactly the same way.

Stories have an ambiguity, a subtlety, that the visual image lacks.
How fitting that reading a story about submission requires you to first submit your imagination to the story.
And the very best stories inspire a yearning…
… to be on the other side of the door.

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