Spanking Theatre

Spanking stories for the theatre between your ears



Due to social distancing, my partner and I have been playing a lot over the phone and FaceTime. He often instructs me to spank myself, which I am usually very comfortable with, but since he isn’t around in person right now I’ve become very self conscious about how loud the smacking sound my bottom makes when I hit it is. Is this a stupid concern? I’m very curvy so I suppose I’m wondering if every smack is equally loud on everyone?

I applaud your choice on social distancing, the ongoing epidemic is still a threat, and you’re behaving very responsibly.

I replied to a question last month about how to make spankings quieter, even if you’re in a shared household.

But self-spankings don’t need to be noisy sessions filled with hard whackings, they can also be wonderful opportunities to play in new and original ways, like jointly watching a spanking video together and timing the smacks at just the right moments.

The Guide to Self-Spanking has lots of ideas couples can adapt and play, even when geographically separated. Spanking play doesn’t need to be about striking hard, but the fun you have in your little secret shared kinky world…

The Beginner’s Guide to Self-Spanking


This is a repost, the original post fell victim to Tumblr’s filters.

Self-spanking is a lot like masturbation. In private, many enjoy doing it. But you’ll rarely hear many people talking about it.

I’m often asked for advice on self-spanking
by readers who are intrigued by the experience, yet who feel awkward
spanking themselves. This is, I believe, because spanking is more than
just smacks on the bottom, it’s as much a mental experience as a
physical one. Engaging your imagination is the key to a satisfying
spanking, whether you’re alone or with a partner. So in this guide, I
hope to address the practicalities of self-spanking, and provide some
ideas for creating fulfilling and arousing playtimes.

First, let’s consider a question, asked by many, especially those yet to try it.

Why would anyone want to spank themselves?

My answer is that fundamentally, self-spanking is just another form of play.

about it this way: vibrators stimulate nerves in the pussy, and
spankings stimulate nerves in the bottom. Whilst the sensations might be
different, impacts rather than rubbings and vibrations, they are
transmitted by exactly the same nerves: the Pudendal and the Perineal
nerves. When your brain receives signals from these nerves, it
interprets them as coming from the whole genital area. As a result, a
side-effect of spankings is the erotic sensation in the genitals, even
though those areas are not actually being touched.

The Pudendal
and the Perineal nerves are located in the lower parts of the buttocks,
near the anus and just above the tops of the thighs. That’s why this
‘sit-spot’ area is the favoured area for spanking, it’s where smacks are
felt most intensely and pleasurably.

Spankings can also, of
course, be painful; that’s why they’ve historically been a form of
punishment. Pain is your body’s early warning signal, alerting you to
the fact that your body is at risk of damage and injury. So normally,
our response to these sensations is aversion, to move away from what’s
causing the damage. Adrenaline surges through us, our heart races, our
minds concentrate. But if you’re over someone’s knee being spanked,
running away is no longer an option; you must instead grimace and bear

When pain is unavoidable, our brains start to release natural
opiates called endorphins, which not only dull the pain signals
received, so they do not become overwhelming, but also produce a floaty
euphoric feeling. Our bodies have a limited stockpile of endorphins,
once they’re released it takes a while to replenish. Which is one of the
reasons why those with spanked bottoms are often sent to the corner: so
they get to feel the soreness and stinging they’ve received when the
fug of their endorphins wear off.

It is this combination of
arousing tingles in the genitals, adrenaline rushes and natural highs
that, when performed right, can make spankings so pleasurable. So if you
enjoy the sensation of a smacked bottom, there’s nothing wrong with
delivering that feeling to yourself.

Hence I consider
self-spanking a form of masturbation. I regard it as a form of self-love
rather than self-harm, a form of self-pleasuring rather than
self-mortification. Spanking is a complementary physical sensation to
the joys of genital rubbing, and as those who’ve experienced a spanking
already know, well-smacked bottoms tend to lead to the most intense

As a result, for many who enjoy spanking stories,
self-spanking is just a natural extension of how they masturbate, giving
them the chance to experience for themselves some of the physical
sensations they’ve just been reading about. After all, what else could
make story about submission any more erotic, than physically submitting
yourself to the story?

Yet it would be wrong to consider
self-spankings as an activity of last resort, an ersatz experience when
no spanker is nearby. On the contrary, it provides a way for readers to
play in the privacy of their own homes, to indulge their own fantasies,
without weirding out a partner or revealing what they’d rather keep to
themselves. It’s the same reason why many with regular sexual partners
still like to play with themselves.

Having explained why
self-spanking is popular, you might be getting curious, tempted to try
the experience for yourself. So the next section will explain some of
the basic practicalities for the benefit of beginners.

How to Get Started

yourself a spanking is as simple as reaching back and slapping your own
bottom. But there’s a few practical aspects worth considering that will
make the experience more intense, and enjoyable.  

The first is
choosing what you’ll spank yourself with, whilst you can use the palm of
your hand, you’ll achieve a far better sensation with a proper spanking
implement. This is because of science! Specifically, the mechanics of
levers – a spanking implement will multiply the force you apply to
yourself, giving a harder whack for the same effort. Using an implement
also means you’ll experience a single impact sensation, having your palm
sting at the same time as your bottom tends to break the spell of what
you’re imagining.

Good items to use for spanking can be found all
around the house. Try slippers, flip-flops, wooden rulers, hairbrushes,
wooden spoons, spatulas, and bath-brushes. Then if, once you get into
it, you want to get more serious about bottom smacking, you can add a
proper spanking paddle to your basket the next time you go sex toy

If you’re not an experienced spankee you’ll quickly
discover some implements are more painful than others. Generally
speaking, the harder and heavier the material, the less forgiving it
will be. So sturdy hairbrushes will hurt more than light balsa wood
spatulas. Implements that flex, like flip-flops and slippers will be
more forgiving than rigid items like rulers and brushes.

The next
issue to consider is what position to adopt whilst spanking yourself.
For this, choose whatever you find most comfortable, or best fits the
fantasy you’re imagining. You might want to bend over a pile of pillows,
or the edge of a sofa, or straddle the corner of your bed.

positions you might try are leaning against a wall, over the back of a
chair or a banister, of kneeling on cushions with your bum in the air.
The possibilities are too numerous to list, just choose one that
supports your own weight comfortably, and leaves your strongest arm free
to reach around to apply your chosen implement to your bottom.

position you choose will dictate the angle that you’ll spank yourself
from, usually reaching back and around. For a different sensation you
can try lying on your back and lifting your legs, allowing you to spank
in between them, this position is particularly good for smacking your
sit-spots, and enjoying the ‘shame’ of exposing yourself.

duration of your spanking is also up to you to decide, it will depend on
the implement you use and your own tolerance of pain. The key here is
to start small, and build up until you find the degree of soreness you
find most satisfying.

If you’re new to self-spanking, you might
like to choose a softer implement like a slipper, and give yourself a
single smack on each cheek, then pause and feel the warmth on your
bottom. Then spank again, maybe adding a couple more smacks before your
next pause. Perhaps when your bottom starts getting sore, you can take
break, imagine you’ve been sent to the corner, and stand facing the
wall, feeling cool air wafting over your hot cheeks. Then maybe your
imaginary disciplinarian decides your spanking wasn’t sufficient, and
your brattiness earns you a trip across their knee for seconds.

you’re comfortable with the sensation of being spanked, try timing
yourself, so you can measure the duration of your spanking in minutes.

last consideration is privacy. Unlike masturbation, which you can do
virtually silently in your own bedroom, the noise of a spanking is
unavoidable. This shouldn’t be a problem if you live alone or with a
kinky partner, but otherwise you’ll be limiting your self-spankings to
times when you’re alone in your home.

So, that’s the physical
practicalities of self-spanking, now let’s consider the mental side, and
in particular, how do you make it erotic?

The Importance of Turning Yourself On

Here I’m going to introduce three ways how you might eroticise a self-spanking session.

The first is what I’d call Spank-As-You-Read, and is described in Naughty Game #6 – Naughty Reading.
This involves reading a spanking story, and imagining yourself as
somehow inside it, so when you read about spankings, you get to
experience them vicariously. The benefit here is the story is scripted
for you, it’s like a roller-coaster, you just buckle in and enjoy the

Perhaps you already masturbate when you read spanking
stories. Imagine if, instead of riding to orgasm, you put your fingers
of your weaker hand between your legs, and used your stronger hand to
rub your bottom with a slipper. Then, the rubs would soon turn into
spanks, and you’d begin to grind against your fingers. You’d smack
slowly, savouring the sound of the slap, the lingering sting.

you’ll be immersed in the story, your imagination engaged, can you
imagine you’re in it? Perhaps you’ll act out what you’re reading, speak
the dialogue aloud. A climax will be inevitable, but this one will be
different, you’ll end the tale with a delightfully warm bottom of your
own, and a head full of delicious thoughts.

second way to act out a fantasy of your own. This gives you the freedom
to improvise, and indulge the kind of activities that turn you on. There
is an art to getting into the right mindset for make-believe though, if
you find this difficult, you might want to warm yourself up with some
suitable erotica first, either visual or the written word.

you’ll imagine a favourite scenario, like reporting to the headmaster,
or being sent to bed early by Daddy. Or even to re-enact a spanking
picture of video you really enjoy. You might want to dress up for the
occasion, invent a bit of a back story, apologise or plead aloud when
it’s made clear your bare bottom is due for a whacking. Perhaps there
will be cornertime, writing of lines or a confession no one will ever
read. Just engage your imagination and invent a scene you’ve always
wanted to come true.

Here are the challenges I’ve posted so far. Enjoy your adventures…

Day 1 – The Fascination of Spanking

Day 2 – Choices and Consequences

Day 3 – Dressing Up

Day 4 – Anticipation

Day 5 – Cornertime

Day 6 – Alter Ego

Day 7 – Being Naughty

Day 8 – Bottom Inspection

Day 9 – Pillow Hump

Day 10 – Echoes

Day 11 – Christmas Story

Day 12 – Star in a Story

Day 13 – The Proper Way to Watch a Spanking Video

Day 14 – A Note From School

Day 15 – Fire and Ice

Day 16 – A Good Hard Caning

Day 17 – Rubber Band

Day 18 – Punishment Girdles

Day 19 – Pussy Spanking

Confining ourselves at home, and minimising social interaction is a noble sacrifice, it’s making a real difference to limiting the spread of the coronavirus, as we all do our bit to prevent a healthcare catastrophe.

Obviously such isolation does mean fewer opportunities for real-world spankings though. And I know how important the sensation of a well-smacked bottom is to many readers, and how many of you will be missing it.

So this is an opportune time to repost this collection of games, which could be played alone, or together with a remote partner, online. I hope they’ll bring you the satisfaction you’ve been craving.

How can I make welts last longer? I want to wake up the morning after a spanking and feel sore

If you’re seeking a harder spanking, you should read this post on Newton’s 2nd Law, and how it pertains to spanking.

For more mass, use a heavier implement, like a thick paddle or wooden hairbrush.

For more acceleration, use something lighter, thinner and stingier, like a cane or a crop, as explained in this post.

But fundamentally, I don’t consider a physical marks and bruises to be the most desirable outcome from a spanking. I believe the aim should be achieving a deep psychological satisfaction, better to wake in the morning with a clear mind and some great memories, than with a sore bottom and a frustrated head.

I know good disciplinarians are very rare. So if you’re not lucky enough to have one, do try exploring by yourself, remember there’s more to a spanking than physical pain, and that every spanking is experienced not by the buttocks, but by the awesomely sophisticated region between your ears…

How do you feel about spanks between the cheeks? I’ve been seeing a lot more videos that involve “penalty swats” recently but I don’t know if it’s safe.

Spanks between the cheeks – to the perineum and vulva – can be very erotic, enjoyable and arousing. 

But that area should be spanked with considerable care. Impacts should certainly be much lighter than smacks to your bottom. And you should consider using softer implements, ones that flex rather than those that are rigid. The leather flap at the end of a riding crop is perfect for spanking between the legs.

If your partner doing is spanking you there, be sure to proceed very slowly – with you requesting every smack, and a clear stopword. I wouldn’t recommend that smacks between the legs are used for ‘penalty swats’, as that suggests pain on tender places that you won’t be in control of. Better to play safe.

If the activity appeals, it might be a good idea to experiment by spanking your own most sensitive areas first, so you get used to the sensations. In which case, try some of the ideas suggested in this Pussy Spanking post.

Another way to experience similar sensations is to make your own Punishment Girdle. These can be worn secretly underneath clothes, for surreptitious pussy spanking delights.

So, start slowly, enjoy the sensations, and have fun…

I love your spanking games but I’m finding it hard to have fun with them alone. I’d love some instruction while I play or even just some instructions on spanking myself. I’m desperate to be told how to punish my bottom.

Drop me a message and I’ll see how I can help.

any tips on first time self spanking??? I feel so awkward any time I try that I end up just quitting because I feel dumb, without any spanking even taking place, and also frustrated.

You’re not alone, I hear of this awkwardness regularly.

My top tip is to think of self-spanking as just another kind of masturbation, but with smacks rather than strokes. That means engaging your main sexual organ (the one between your ears), and getting into the right mood before a single smack lands on your cheeks.

Ask yourself:

  • Why are you being spanked?
  • What’s the fantasy you’re imagining yourself part of?
  • Who are you imagining spanking you?

Hear their voice in your mind. Imagine them telling you to pull down your panties.

The activities listed within the Guide to Self Spanking are intended to help readers construct and explore their own fantasies. Get good at that first, practice bending over, touching your toes or across a chair, or lying on your bed with a pile of pillows beneath your hips.

Before a self-spanking, boys should be hard, and girls soaking wet. If you’re not sufficiently aroused, you have more imagining to do. Read a story if you need to, that’s what they’re intended for.

Then, slowly, you can begin to add actual spanks to your fantasy. If you’re struggling to take the initiative, many have found the approach described in The Proper Way to Watch a Spanking Video very helpful. Namely, when someone on screen gets spanked, you get spanked too.

Self-spanking isn’t just about smacking your own bottom, it’s about creating your own immersive fantasies, with you safely in control. Do it right, and you’ll find you don’t even have to smack that hard.

Remember, the buttocks only appear to feel a spanking, where it’s really experienced is inside your head…

I just want to say that because of this blog I got past the fear of spanking myself. As I sit with a sore, red bottom, I am grateful for this blog and continue to hope to find someone who enjoys this with me.

If I could spank every reader who needed it, I gladly would.

But life is busy and distances large.

Fortunately, you don’t need to have a disciplinarian to feel the warming sting of a well-smacked bottom. As you’re discovering, you can play in the privacy of your own home, at your own pace, to a fantasy of your own choosing.

If you’re inexperienced, it’s often better that way. If you’re going to ask another to inflict pain on you, it’s worth spending time developing trust first. A great spanker can be a source of tremendous satisfaction. If you’re self-sufficient, there’s no need to rush into bad relationships.

I hope the activities within the Guide to Self Spanking will continue to inspire, and help you explore the craving you find so fascinating.

Self-Spanking Challenge #15: Fire and Ice


The 15th instalment of the Self-Spanking Challenge! Newcomers can find previous challenges here.

Challenge – Day 15

Contrasting sensations can amplify each other. Pain and pleasure. Silence and noise. Hot and cold. You’ll be familiar with the hot ache of arousal, and the fiery stinging heat of a good hard spanking, so in this challenge you’re going to couple that warmth with a completely different sensation, the seasonally-appropriate, cool numbing chill of ice…

To begin, make some ice cubes. Put a tray into the fridge if you haven’t any ready, and wait for them to freeze. Then put them into a bowl of water, which will help take off the frost and melt away any sharp edges.

If you’re playing in your bedroom, put a towel or two on your bed to keep your covers dry.

The idea of this challenge is to alternate between spankings and ice play. For instance, you might begin by circling your breasts, watching as you make your nipples harden. Follow it up with a series of spanks to warm up your bottom.

Then lie down and nestle an ice cube in little dimple of your belly button. Your job is to make sure it doesn’t slide off. A test of your self-control as you feel the ice begin to melt, its cool water dribbling down your heated skin.

Follow this with another quick spanking. Extra hard if you let the ice cube slip.

Then try pulling down your panties and placing an ice cube in the gusset. Then slowly, pull your panties up. Where will you feel the chill nip of the ice? On your bottom hole, your perineum? Boys might feel it against their balls, or the base of the cock. Girls might feel it slip between their lips, or numbing the hot little bulb of their clit.

Pull your panties up until they’re tight and snug against your crotch, leave them in position for a minute, whilst the ice chills and melts, as you feel the trickle of meltwater soaking your panties, mingling with your own arousal. In effect, this a variation of Ups and Downs, where you’re pulling your underwear up and down until the ice is completely melted. And when the ice is gone it’s time for your spanking.

You may have your spanking on your cold wet panties, or you can take them off and have your bottom smacked bare. Either way, aim for a good thorough bottom warming.

When your bottom is hot and pink, get another ice cube to cool it down. To avoid numbing your fingers, you might want to hold the ice cube with a cloth or flannel. Trace the ice across your cheeks, paradoxically you may feel your bottom getting hotter, as the bitter cold is interpreted by the nerve endings in your skin as a burning sensation. You may feel the muscles of your vagina and anus involuntarily clench, hard…

Keep reading

What a hot day it’s been!

And tonight I plan to post a brand new story, so the temperature in your bedroom may get even hotter…

But what better time to play with some ice?

An Essay on Self-Forgiveness

An anonymous reader writes:

Thank you very much for pointing out the distinction between failing on
purpose and failing due to other responsibilities. I find I am so
wrapped up in the WHAT sometimes that I miss the WHY. I took your
advice, and spent my evening writing an essay. If you don’t mind, I
would like to take you up on your offer and share it with you.

Why I Need to be Punished

Guilt is a powerful force. While I do not know why we put ourselves
through it, I would guess it has to do with our evolution. We have
evolved to be social animals and feeling guilt (or sometimes even the
mere thought of it) helps curb selfish desires for the good of the
group. In this way, a negative feeling nets a positive result-
experiencing it can help someone grow. Such power also comes at a price. When left unresolved or internalized
for too long, guilt can become paralyzing. It can make someone spiral
down- and make them shrink.

In only 25 years I have managed to accumulate my fair share of guilt.
Some of it stems from small, harmless if not naughty gambits for a
reaction. On the other hand, over the years there has also been blatant
defiance- some truly bad behavior. These have been my choices- my
actions, my words. Left unaddressed, they have eaten away at me.

I grew up in a chaotic but loving household. There were few rules and
fewer consequences. We were encouraged to fail, to learn, and to move
on. I struggled with failure, but more importantly, I struggled with
moving on.

I find it all too easy to spiral into a cycle of self-criticism. Every
time I make a mistake it becomes another reason to stop trying and

That is no way to live. I need to move on. I needed
resolution. I craved punishment for my misdeeds.

I started looking up “spanking” in the dictionary when I was 12. The
internet eventually led me to self-spanking, and what a relief it was to
see it wasn’t just me who has the urge to smack my own bottom! As a
teen I began experimenting, and eventually found myself regulating my
guilt and then actions through spanking. I would write rules down in the
back of my school note books- like going to bed at a reasonable hour or
being nice to my sister, even when she was being annoying!

This was the
discipline I wasn’t getting. While some see rules as confining, I feel
just the opposite. Rules created with self-improvement in mind provide a
structure to thrive in- just like a tomato cage helps the plant to grow
tall and produce its best fruits, rules and discipline help me do the

With discipline I can fail, and instead of spiralling downward I am caught by the
safety net that is punishment- specifically spanking.

The ritual of spanking (performed alone or with another’s help) is very
much a cleansing rite for me. When I am put in the corner and scolded my
transgressions are clearly defined. There is no doubt. When my bottom
is bared and raised it is an act of submission and an admission of
guilt. Each smack upon stinging smack serves to drive out the guilt until
only forgiveness is left.

I do not need to cry to feel this release- to forgive myself for my
transgressions. I rarely will when self-spanking. Writing this essay,
however, has me very close. I have never put to words any of my
reasoning- why I want to obey, why I set rules for myself or follow the
rules others set for me, why I self-spank. This is probably because
subconsciously I knew doing so has left me feeling vulnerable.

So thank you for suggesting I write this essay. I have a lot to think about.

Thank you, dear reader.

Essay writing can be a powerful reflective tool. An exercise in delving deep into your own mind, as you attempt to understand and explain the reasons you feel a certain way, and then grappling with the words that manage to express them.

I often set essays for those I discipline. I find they can be a highly effective means of education, especially when the student sits on her bare bottom, on a hard wooden chair, her sore cheeks still stinging from a spanking. And begins to write…

Your essay makes several very insightful points, on the power of
guilt and the necessity of self-forgiveness. Yet it is important these
strong feelings of self-criticism do not become self-loathing and
self-harm, and I feel the eroticisation of spanking helps temper these
strong emotions, a positive force preventing a drift to psychological

Like you say, you know the difference at the end. A spanking that is an act of self-forgiveness results in feelings of relief and positivity. Without that psychological lift, it is simply an act of physical self-harm, which would have only negative mental repercussions once the pain-induced endorphins wear off.

That’s why a good spanker always dispenses forgiveness, once the bottom is sore, the debt is paid. Misdemeanours never linger.

That’s why after a spanking, a naughty girl is a good girl again.

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