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Spanking Theatre

Spanking stories for the theatre between your ears

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sexuality

Do you have any advice for someone who has been interested in spanking (being spanked) for a long time, but has always been too nervous to discuss it with partners? Any advice as well for someone who is in this position, but tends to have a more dominant personality in everyday life and has a hard time getting into a more submissive mindset despite wanting to? Love your page and all your stories!

This is such a common dilemma, I’m going to have to write a longer post on the subject soon.

But fundamentally, the challenge comes down to a single concept of profound psychological significance:

Intimacy is an act of immense vulnerability.

Intimacy is a bargain – we trade off the prospect of pleasure for the risk of  psychological or emotional hurt. If we decide we’d prefer not to experience that kind of discomfort, we play safe. 

I strongly recommend reading What Nice Men Don’t Say To Nice Women, a short essay on vulnerability written from the top’s perspective, but it equally well applies to those who’d like to be submissive.

It is telling that in your original question, you mention the mask you wear every day. Each of us are psychological icebergs, drifting through the turbulent ocean of life, with only the tiniest fraction of ourselves exposed to public scrutiny. And what is seen is carefully curated.

We men have many talents, but mind-reading is not one of them. That’s why the submissive young woman who says she’s been naughty and deserves a spanking is such a hot male fantasy. It is explicit permission to proceed – for your lover to transition from being your protector to your punisher.

Many do not find this easy, especially those who’ve spent a lifetime wearing a different mask.

My advice for those who find vulnerability difficult is to start opening up anonymously.

Anonymous social media provides a channel for you to message those you trust, and to start discussing what you desire. Openness breeds sexual confidence, a vital prerequisite before you’re ready to be vulnerable.

If you have a partner, ensure that you say the word spank in every encounter. No need to make a big deal of it. Normalise it.

It could be as simple as a gasped “spank me!” during sex. 

Or as provocative as “I touched myself thinking about you today. Was that naughty of me? Does that deserve a good spanking?”

Whatever you’re comfortable with.

If you desire spanking, begin to embrace it. Begin to uncover it.

Dare to be vulnerable again. 

I dream about being tied up in a cellar, being bought and sold, being used and abused in the most intimate ways… but I’m really scared to discuss this fantasy with a partner… do you have any advice?

I’m assuming that your anxiety stems from feelings of shame and embarrassment, rather than concerns for your own personal safety. If you fear that a partner might not respect your boundaries, any kind of kinky play is risky. But assuming you feel safe with your partner, then I can assure you that the fantasies you’ve described are nothing out of the ordinary.

Everyone thinks their own fantasies are the weirdest, but that’s because they’ve imagined them in such intense detail for so long. Perhaps it’s because we never really get to look inside the heads of others, and see what really lurks inside their equally filthy imaginations.

In reality, the desire to cede control to a lover, to be enslaved, kidnapped or imprisoned for an evening is a common one. What stops most people acting it out is their fear of how they’ll be perceived. And it’s not just submissives who feel this anxiety, some who’d love to dominate their partners are wary of throwing away the mask of niceness they’ve worn, perhaps ever since they first met. 

Imagine if your partner secretly fantasises about treating you as a sex slave, or tying you up in the basement, naked and blindfolded, with all three holes filled. How would you ever know?

“Tell me your most perverted fantasy”, you might challenge him.

And he’d tell you something just kinky enough to demonstrate he did have an erotic imagination, but bland enough that he wouldn’t risk being perceived as some kind of sexual monster.

“Er… I’d like to fuck you in the bottom”, he’d venture.

The opportunity to really remove your masks passes. And secretly you’re both rather disappointed.

Sometimes, in sensitive negotiations you need a proxy. A go-between.

Like stories.

Instead of asking your partner to bare their erotic soul to you, send them a story. Add a simple comment: “I loved this!”

You want to provoke him into asking the magic question: “Which bit?”

And then you tell him. Not your fantasy. Not what you want him to do to you. But the part of the story where you wish it had been you. Perhaps it’s the part where a slave is intimately inspected in the public marketplace before being bought and taken back to her new owner’s farm in chains.

Let your partner connect the dots. Let him find the parts that excite him too. There’s no need to justify or explain your fantasy in explicit detail, it can remain implicit. The story is just a starting point, a common frame of reference. Something you can improvise from.

“Hmmm. Maybe we should buy some cuffs…”

“Oh please Sir! Not the basement!”

Characters in erotic stories are like costumes for you to slip into. Ready-written screenplays that you can just act out, with an element of plausible deniability if needed, allowing you both to continue to pretend you’re nice and not at all perverted – if that’s what you need to. 

You were both just playing a part. And the story told you to do it.

Sexual Perspectives

Anatomy, gender, dominance and sexuality are completely orthogonal things – one does not imply anything about the other, unless you want it to.

Everyone gets to decide how these sexual concepts are related, this this their sexual preference. The open-minded will be comfortable with a diverse range of connections between these concepts. Those who are sexually conservative have a very narrow view of what’s permissible. What a pity.

My previous post generated some interesting messages, so I thought I’d expand on the concept. It’s clear that when it comes to sex, many get very anxious indeed about what’s ‘right’ and ‘normal’. Which is why some folks’ sex lives are driven by a need for validation, a need for conformity, rather than what actually turns them on.

Because if your notions of sexuality are rigid, any experimentation might be considered perverse or shameful, unfeminine or emasculating.

To me though, different sexual preferences and identities are just costumes. This is why I’m able to compose erotic fiction and most never attempt it. It’s what enables me to flit into the minds of the characters I create so easily. And why many who read my stories are still convinced I’m actually a woman.

Remember, there’s no ideal. No universal sexual preference. If you’re pansexual,and  happy to try anything with anyone, that’s lovely, and I wish you a lovely time. Personally, I’m not. I do have my own preferences, just as others have theirs. 

Perversion isn’t a sexual preference beyond your own preferences. Perversion is overstepping the consensual boundaries of others.

Consider an example of what a simple change of perspective might bring.

What if a woman was to use her phallic dildo ‘the wrong way around’ – with the base between her legs, so it juts out proudly, just as if she had an erection?

Perhaps the base will permit the phallus to be slipped inside her slit, or she’ll keep it in place by squeezing her thighs together. Now she can stroke her new penis just like men do, transferring her juices to its shaft, making it slick and slippery. How many women ever play with their dildos like that? As a way of changing their sexual identity, rather than just a means of physical stimulation.

What might happen, as she grinds herself against the shaft, or feels its base push deeper inside her, if all kinds of transgressive fantasies begin to fill her mind?

Like, what do men fantasise about? Perhaps she’s imagining herself in the mind of her first boyfriend, as he imagines all the things he wanted to do to her. Such a naughty boy, wanking in bed each night, longing to plunge this big stiff cock into her tight little slit.

Isn’t that interesting. Now, instead of using her dildo to fill herself, she’s magically switched perspectives, so now she’s imagining herself being filled. She can see herself as others might see her, as an object of sexual desire.

Perhaps she might go further, and imagine what it would be like to actually do the fucking. What it would have been like if she’d told him to bend over, and lubricated his bottom hole with her juices. What it would be like to stand behind him, her hardness throbbing between his firm cheeks, before pushing her own phallus into his tight little hole.

Anatomy, gender, dominance and sexuality. Just a minor change of perspective on one, and suddenly, everything can become fluid. And new possibilities suddenly open.

Not everything needs to change, of course, it might only be a subtle shift. A submissive woman with her dildo between her legs can still be spanked like a naughty boy. Perhaps ‘he’ got an erection in class, and now ‘he’ must be inspected and punished just like any other naughty boy, stiff penis and bottom hole examined before and after a good hard whacking. Perhaps the disciplinarian will be merciful afterwards, sliding a finger into ‘his’ spanked bottom, and reaching round to work ‘his’ shaft until ‘he’ comes.

If you own a vulva and a dildo, why not try this experiment for yourself. Pull down your panties, and place the dildo against your mound, like you had an erection. How does that change your sexual expectations? If you lie back, with the dildo held between your thighs, how does that affect what you fantasise about?

There is no wrong way. Only a thousand new possibilities to play, waiting for your mind to venture further.

Some readers might recognise this idea, it’s the theme of my story Grimoire:

Every night I take my precious book from its little metal haven. I lie back on my bed, turning to a random page, and read some centuries-old words under my breath like a magic incantation. Then I close my eyes, and I am transported.

You would never believe the wonders I have seen. My feeble descriptions do them pathetically little justice.

My grimoire is not just the scribbled memories of long-ago spankings, it is a portal into the minds of ancient witnesses. Through it I have shared the thoughts of hundreds of men and women, boys and girls. I have seen every flavour of cruelty and compassion, power and authority, dominance and submission. I have explored every aspect of eroticism and sexuality, from the coy to the explicit, from the mediocre to the sublime.

Through it, I know what it’s like to be a man, how it feels to secretly stiffen as you spank a beautiful arse, how it feels to see her folds winking back between her kicking legs, and the frustration of knowing you can not have her. Through it I have experienced the glorious sensation of reaching between hot spanked cheeks to find her soaking wet, the delight of being absolutely rigid, and the epiphany of slipping inside her slick tight hole.

Through it, I have given and received the tender love of women.

I have loved a man through the eyes of a man.

I have been unsure of my gender and loved regardless.

I have experienced pleasure in outrageously decadent balls, parties and orgies.

I have lost and taken others’ innocence.

I have disciplined out of love and out of anger.

I have spanked to punish and spanked to pleasure.

I have explored the erotic ingenuities of tying up.

I have induced unexpected climaxes in girls and boys with skilful whackings.

I have bared the bottoms of princes and princesses.

I have scolded and seduced in a dozen different tongues.

And I have played all manner of secret games.

If only I could copy my little magic book of spanking, and show humanity its sexuality as others have seen it.

Doesn’t that sound like a idea worth encouraging?

Although I’m a cis woman, I really like being referred to by male pronouns in sexual situations, or even called a good boy. Sometimes, just putting on male clothing gets me really turned on. How normal would you say this is? I don’t quite know what to make of my kink. Love your blog, thank you for answering so many sex-related questions ❤️

It’s perfectly normal.

That’s the wonderful thing about roleplay. You can be whoever you want to be, whenever you want to be. 

Who says the characters you enjoy inhabiting have to be the same gender as your anatomy?

Dressing up is a common fantasy, and cross-dressing is a very popular activity. How cool is it, that clothes, like words, are capable of transporting your consciousness into another character’s mind? As if you were donning an enchanted mask, granting you the power to momentarily experience reality through another’s eyes.

Personally, as a straight cis male, I prefer to play with those who have a vulva. But I find it thrilling to discipline gamine women who dress up as tomboys. It’s a delight to be able to construct a shared fantasy where I scold them as naughty little boys, and address them using male names. When I pull down their shorts or trousers, it doesn’t matter that I see a smooth bare slit when I pull down their underpants.

I’ve also hugely enjoyed playing a headmistress and an Edwardian governess too. I can be just as strict wearing women’s clothes, because to me it’s just a costume, not a sexuality transplant.

It’s actually quite exciting to be called Miss. To discipline a girl with a maternal compassion, or with a schoolmistress’s sternness. To undress and inspect her, because “you’ve seen it all before”. All whilst having an erection beneath one’s skirt, which we all do our best not to acknowledge.

So, there’s nothing wrong with your kink (or mine). Imagine how dull your fantasy life would be if you could only ever be you. Instead we have access to a vast wardrobe of virtual sexual personas. We can be someone new for a night, whenever we choose. It’s close to magic.

Isn’t that profoundly wonderful?

You keep mentioning these amazing, confident, smart women that you play with. Where do you find them?

Try not to think of play partners as some kind of treasure to be found. Or even worse, some treasure to be won.

Instead think of how one might go about finding any new friend.

By being approachable, respectful, and engaging to talk to.

But you also need to do something that seems quite intimidating: you need to drop your own mask, and allow others to see behind it. Through this blog, thousands of complete strangers have come to know the details of my fantasies, and what I believe about not just sex, but life in general.

When you’re that candid, sometimes you don’t need to go find kindred spirits. Because they will find you.

Honestly I’ve been into spanking for the longest time and even though I’m about to turn 20 and I’m still a virgin I just know it’s a dealbreaker for me if they can’t provide that. Is that weird?

Not weird at all.

Many who adore spanking couldn’t imagine getting together with someone if spanking wasn’t on the erotic menu.

When you’re kinky, you realise that no one sexual activity has primacy above all others. Kinky folk understand everyone has their preferences, and we give ourselves the permission to prioritise what we value the most.

That doesn’t mean kinky folk don’t enjoy intercourse, but we have a clear difference in outlook between vanilla folk who see intercourse as the peak of sexual experience, and consider activities like spanking as just ‘foreplay’ or sideshows to the ‘main event’.

Be true to your own sexual compass. It’s yours alone.

Treasure Hunt is definitely my favorite so far. It makes me feel so good inside and at the same time so sweet. You write so beautifully and I want to give you the highest of praises!! Um. There is something I need to ask though. I’ve never actually pleasured myself and am afraid to do so. I’ve only ever felt aroused through reading. I guess I just feel shy to do so and never really knew the basics. What do you think about it? Have a nice day!!

I think that sounds perfectly reasonable.

According to the most recent studies, 97% of men and 80% of women have masturbated at some point in their lives. That means anyone who hasn’t pleasured themselves is likely to be in the minority, but not freakishly unusual. 

There are many good reasons for not masturbating, some will refrain due to religious or cultural beliefs. A big factor is often privacy, especially those in small, crowded households where bedrooms are shared. Some just haven’t found what they really find arousing yet, and that’s perfectly natural too. Everyone is aroused by different things, some have very particular fetishes and fantasies. That’s what makes human sexuality so varied and fascinating.

So, take your time as you explore not only the full surface area of your own body, but also the fantasy worlds conjured by your own imagination.

You, and your desires, are unique.

And that is something to be cherished.

Treasure Hunt

spankingtheatre:

A bedtime story for those who still love to play

She’d been so close!
Agonisingly close!
She’d frantically scrambled around the utility room as the buzzing between her legs rose to a dizzying crescendo. Trying to retain her composure, to resist the temptation to sink to her knees and let the delicious wave of pleasure wash over her. All the while, he stood behind her holding the magic wand, chuckling at her slapstick search, gleefully reminding her that her time was almost up.

Moments later, the bell rang – and the vibrations between her legs abruptly stopped.
She squealed, emptying her lungs in frustration.
She had lost again. And that meant another visit to the spanking chair.
Rules were rules.

By tradition, the first Friday night of each month was Treasure Hunt night. The game had evolved over all the years they’d been together, and would now undoubtedly shock their friends with its brazen kinkiness and erotic inventiveness.

The objective of the game was simple. An object would be hidden somewhere in the house, and the seeker had six minutes to find it, all the while being shepherded by the devilishly distracting sensations of the remote control vibrator…

Keep reading

Next in the alphabetical retrospective of past stories is Treasure Hunt.

The previous post served as an appropriate prelude, as the central theme of this story is playfulness, the switch couple have invented their own little naughty game, with the winner taking charge for a night, in what has become a series of increasingly outrageous sex games.

This will be a familiar theme if you’ve my posts on the naughty well-behaved, and the secret of sexual spontaneity.

Fundamentally, this is a story about building your own sexual reality. It is a quest to discover what really turns your partner on, because really, that’s the greatest aphrodisiac of all.

But the very best sexual experiences often involve activities experienced for the very first time. Sometimes we don’t really know what we desire, and are reluctant to spell out what we want. And there is great pleasure in being surprised. That’s only possible inside a strong partnership, committed to continuing exploration and experimentation.

Those discoveries are the true Treasure.

And they’re well worth the Hunt.

The Alchemy of Anxiety

An anonymous reader writes:

This may be a bit odd, but I’m writing out of hope to gain some courage.

I’m in the midst of writing my physics dissertation and I’ve never cared so much about any work in my life. Doing the work taught me many things about my own capacity for intellectual heartbreak and triumph in equal measure. I am… proud of the work that I’ve done, yet deeply insecure about it, and perhaps above all, mortified by the thought of submitting it to the red ink of my advisor.


He’s been largely in the background for most of this process, but over all kind and patient, if blunt. Until very recently I didn’t understand that I could be so passionate about my work, and I’ll admit that I at first confused my own newfound perfectionism with a desire to please an intimidating authority figure—or at least avoid another serious talking to like the one he gave me early on in my work.

I introspected a lot about my authority issues (many), and tried to consider as objectively as possible that he might have a point, and decided to swallow my pride and keep trying. I am now glad that I did, I think. But I’m also apprehensive. I trust that he has my best interests in mind and doesn’t think badly of me, but I am deeply sensitive to criticism. And I know that criticism is both inevitable and, if given in good faith, vital for growth.


You may be wondering why I’m writing this to a spanking blog, although I wouldn’t be surprised if you understood completely: from reading your stories, I know that you’re deeply aware of the eroticism that may be found in the relationship between teacher and student, as well as in the learning process itself. It’s the lustful part of my brain, disconnected from reality, that wonders breathlessly what submitting to a different sort of humbling experience would be like: one experienced naked, across his lap.


I am eroticising a difficult experience to cope with it; the fantasy of accepting physical discipline from someone I respect and find attractive turns me on, while knowing that I must open myself up to criticism of my work terrifies me. Even so, I have now done a difficult thing by offering you my writing, my obvious kink for authority, and the knowledge that I’m a very naughty girl indeed, to be touching myself to the thought of a sound spanking from my mentor. Perhaps now, it may be easier to do the most difficult thing…


Thank you dear reader, for putting into words something that I expect many other readers of this blog will have felt themselves. It is common to eroticise difficult, awkward and embarrassing situations.

And this reveals a deeper truth:

Anxiety and fear are two separate emotions.

Some might think they’re the same, that anxiety is just a milder form of fear, but they’re not.

Anxiety originates from desire.

Fear originates from danger.

People eroticise situations that might otherwise be socially or physically painful. That’s why the most common sexual fantasies feature authority, punishment, nudity and humiliation. By fantasising about shame, we can take control it, like lightning in a bottle – and channel that powerful psychological energy into our minds’ pleasure centres instead. Safely, in the privacy of the bedroom.

If fear had the same psychological basis, the most common sexual fantasies would involve heights, snakes and creepy-crawlies. But they don’t. Fear is a primal response, a self-protection mechanism that’s billions of years old. It exists to keep us safe, from perils that could be lethal.

But anxieties arise from our wants: our desire to be liked, to be accepted, to be pretty, to be successful. All factors that might lead to us being considered socially and sexually attractive.

Those who consider authority figures erotic often fantasise about impressing them. They crave their attention, they want to be told they’re the cleverest, the most brilliant, or best-behaved.

That’s probably why the schoolgirl scenario is so popular, a chance to replay and eroticise your own memories. To imagine what it would be like if that teacher you had a crush on really was as strict as they were in your dreams. Your aversion to failure demands that even imaginary rule-breaking must have consequences. And for many, that means a good hard spanking on the bare bottom.

Many misinterpret the powerful urges of their own sexuality as
something bad, deviant or filthy. But in reality, your sexuality is a mental resource, as much an asset as your creativity, insight or concentration. The best erotic mentors are not motivated by their own gratification, but by a desire to teach others how to understand their own superpowers.

Your sexual energy is a fire, a means to transmute anxiety into pleasure. In a very personal act of alchemy…

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