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Spanking Theatre

Spanking stories for the theatre between your ears

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What Nice Men Don’t Say To Nice Women

  • I want to spank your bare bottom.
  • I want to tie you up.
  • I want to thoroughly inspect and penetrate your tight little bottom hole.
  • I want you to dress up in school uniform, and address me as Sir.
  • I want you to text me at random, and tell me you’ve been a naughty girl.
  • I want to promise you a spanking, and have you think about it all day long.
  • I want you to wear a butt plug when we go out to dinner.
  • I want you to go the ladies, take off your panties, and drop them in my lap.
  • I want to smack your bum pink, and you to thank me afterwards.

I recently wrote a post in response to a lady who wanted to be spanked by her man. It got me thinking – because it isn’t just ladies who can be reluctant to raise the introduction of spanking into a relationship, men have exactly the same problem too.  

Most men are fundamentally nice. That doesn’t mean meek milquetoasts desperate to agree and avoid awkwardness, it just means many blokes have encountered quite enough macho brutes in our lives, and we’ve no desire to come across as one ourselves. We consider ourselves our sweetheart’s protector, not her punisher – even if that thought secretly turns us on…

Emotionally aware men understand relationships require some conciliation, but that’s not what we fantasise about. Yet sometimes it feels easier to keep those desires hidden than reveal our darker secrets, for fear of rocking the boat. We worry about what are partner thinks, and we know we’ll spend far more time with her doing everyday things together than we’ll spend being intimate.

Look at the list that began this post. How does each sentence begin?

“I want…” – not “I’d like…”

Nice men are wary of expressing their wants, it makes us sound like demanding little boys. We’re grown up now, polite and civilised – so we phrase our desires in friendly, conciliatory language. We yearn to say “I want…” but it jars with the mask of niceness we’ve worn for as long as we can remember.

So we get into a routine of vanilla, uncontroversial sex; haunted by the shattering possibility of her horrified rejection of our perverted suggestions, and imagined conversations between her girlfriends afterwards.

“He wanted you to do WHAT???”

Their little group gasped in unison, a chorus of virtuous indignation.

“I know!” she sniffed, “It’s as if I hardly knew him!”

In many respects though, that’s absolutely true – your lover indeed barely knows you. Each of us are massive psychological icebergs, drifting through the turbulent ocean of life, with only the tiniest fraction of ourselves exposed to public scrutiny. And what is seen is carefully curated.

Yet what lies beneath is much more exciting, (I wrote a story about that once).

Jung called our hidden depths The Shadow, but it’s not a dark side, it’s our repository of secrets and thoughts we decide to keep to ourselves. We are
social creatures, and society functions because we have masks to wear
and roles to play.

As we grow up we learn to be discreet, deciding what
side of ourselves to present in public. But that’s ok, our culture might
unravel if everyone was suddenly completely candid with each other,
there’s nothing wrong with keeping certain thoughts and desires private.
 

I think all men will recognise this reticence about revealing our true desires, even if that modesty no longer restrains them. Some will have been bold enough to unmask themselves, in a way that is far more profound than simply removing their clothes. I hope all those who did found their relationships enriched.

If you’re yet to take this leap into the dark, and you want to, begin the conversation.

I chanced upon this terrific video from the wonderful modern philosophers at The School of Life:

Do watch it, and if it resonates with you, you might consider sharing it with your partner. Although the subject matter is profound, its cartoonish presentation should help keep any subsequent discussion light-hearted.

And then, when she asks:

“So, what does a nice man like you not say to a nice woman like me…?”

She is inviting you to be candid.

So tell her.

“I want to spank you. On your bare bottom…”

Secrets and Shadows

spankingtheatre:

image

What would be your reaction if you watched a mainstream movie with friends or family that contained a scene like this? Ostentatious delight or embarrassed chuckles?

Come to think of it, how many people know of your most cherished fantasies? Have you ever felt awkward about keeping them secret?

Here’s a passage that might get you thinking, by the great psychologist Carl Jung:

“I had a dream which both frightened and encouraged me. It was night in some unknown place, and I was making slow and painful headway against a mighty wind. Dense fog was flying along everywhere.

“I had my hands cupped around a tiny light which threatened to go out at any moment. Everything depended on my keeping the little light alive. Suddenly I had the feeling that something was coming up behind me. I looked back, and saw a gigantic black figure following me. But at the same moment I was conscious in spite of my terror, that I must keep my little light going through night and wind, regardless of the dangers.

“When I awoke I realized at once that the figure was my own shadow on the swirling mists, brought into being by the little light I was carrying. I knew too that this little light was my consciousness, the only light I have. Though infinitely small and fragile in comparison with the powers of darkness, it is still a light, my only light.”

– Carl Jung, Memories, Dreams and Reflections

Isn’t that first sentence intriguing? "I had a dream which both frightened and encouraged me.”

Even Jung was frightened and disturbed by his dreams sometimes. But he realised that every light casts a shadow, and we’re biologically wired to perceive shadows as dark. But it’s easy to forget about the beautiful, unique and wondrous light that cast the shadow – that’s You.

Keep reading

I’m writing a post that references this, making this an appropriate time to reblog it. If you’ve ever been troubled – or conflicted – by the fantasies you keep secret, I’d highly recommend it.

The Intimacy of Bookshelves

An anonymous reader writes:

I feel there’s a certain unappreciated intimacy to bookshelves.

They are the housings for the things we love most. Our collectables, our memories, the things we want to see last at night and first in the morning, our dreams, our aspirations, and the most intimate things of all: our books.

Books teach us not only facts and opinions but they teach us how to think. They form our minds and shape our souls. To look into a person’s bookshelves is to look into their very being. When you read a book the words on those pages BECOME your thoughts, whether you realize it or not. Books are a form of literary mind control. If you read about vampires you think about vampires. If you read about politics you think about politics. If you read about spanking you think about spankings. And where do these mighty fountains of thought reside? Our bookshelves.

By seeing what is on a person’s bookshelves you see into their mind. They stand there, proud and tall, in our parlors, in our libraries, in our dens, and our most intimate rooms: our bedrooms. They stand dutifully protecting our treasures and watching. Watching as we sleep, as we eat, as we undress and expose ourselves. They listen to our conversations. They feel our touch. The watch as we grow, as we change, as we learn, as we feel loss and love, as we make love. They watch us make love to others. They watch us make love to ourselves. They watch us make love to other books!

And they hold our secrets safe. They hold our books safe. They hold our pictures, our holiday cards, our collectibles. They hold our souls. People wonder if walls could talk. If walls could talk they’d have very little to say. But if bookshelves could talk? Our bookshelves know us better often than we know ourselves.

You like to fill our minds with stories, Sir – but what fills yours? 

What treasured gems are privileged enough to adorn YOUR bookshelves? It’s a mysterious entity: the bookshelf of a literary master. It’s interesting hearing the inspirations authors list in interviews. I’ve had the pleasure of touring Ernest Hemingway’s estate twice and seen the books left on his shelves. But it still lacks the intimacy of a truly close author. One you read and read and re-read even after you know every twist of the plot.

So tell me, Master, what books dress your shelves? What words inspire your words? How are they organized? How many are treasured favorites and how many were picked up at a random yard sale or that favorite book shop and sit waiting to be read? Do you prefer the compact simplicity of paperbacks, easily slipped in a bag for travel reading and small enough to pack several on even the smallest shelf, perhaps even two books deep, or do your tastes tend towards the expensive elegance of hardcover books, thick and strong, with monotone cardboard protecting the precious pages within and the only markings being the shining letters emblazoned down the spine?


Thank you for this submission. And I agree entirely. 

If you would know someone, simply browse their bookshelves.

A bookshelf reveals its owner’s preferences, their interests, their adventurousness. And it can not lie, its contents are there in the open, for all to see.

You ask what resides on my shelves? In my living room, where visitors might linger, and where eager fingers might easily pluck a book from a shelf in an idle moment, reside guidebooks and books I’ve brought back from my travels. This room is decorated by prints of photographs I’ve taken, of mountain peaks and faraway trails. I hope my browsing visitors might be momentarily whisked away, and that my souvenir library enjoys its new home.

The spare bedrooms contain my fiction collection, visitors being very welcome to pick up something from my library during their stay, and even take their choice away with them. I run a friendly library, I’m happy to see these books borrowed and shared. 

In my study reside the books that reflect my professional face. Long rows of concentrated knowledge: business, technology, health, economics. Here you’ll also find my doctoral thesis, a bulky red leather-bound tome, with my name and alma mater sparkling on the spine in gold. A few other hidden gems lurk here too, collectables and books their authors have kindly signed.

And then there’s the secret bookshelf few ever see, just above eye level in the master bedroom. A short stretch of honey-coloured wood, where my most intimate books reside. Writings about sex, erotica, bondage and discipline. Here an intrepid reader can sate their appetite for fucking positions, and all manner of erotic roleplaying and sexual adventure. But only the most privileged ever get to see this treasure trove.

You understand why, of course.

Because that last shelf is me.

Secrets and Shadows

image

What would be your reaction if you watched a mainstream movie with friends or family that contained a scene like this? Ostentatious delight or embarrassed chuckles?

Come to think of it, how many people know of your most cherished fantasies? Have you ever felt awkward about keeping them secret?

Here’s a passage that might get you thinking, by the great psychologist Carl Jung:

“I had a dream which both frightened and encouraged me. It was night in some unknown place, and I was making slow and painful headway against a mighty wind. Dense fog was flying along everywhere.

“I had my hands cupped around a tiny light which threatened to go out at any moment. Everything depended on my keeping the little light alive. Suddenly I had the feeling that something was coming up behind me. I looked back, and saw a gigantic black figure following me. But at the same moment I was conscious in spite of my terror, that I must keep my little light going through night and wind, regardless of the dangers.

“When I awoke I realized at once that the figure was my own shadow on the swirling mists, brought into being by the little light I was carrying. I knew too that this little light was my consciousness, the only light I have. Though infinitely small and fragile in comparison with the powers of darkness, it is still a light, my only light.”

— Carl Jung, Memories, Dreams and Reflections

Isn’t that first sentence intriguing? “I had a dream which both frightened and encouraged me.”

Even Jung was frightened and disturbed by his dreams sometimes. But he realised that every light casts a shadow, and we’re biologically wired to perceive shadows as dark. But it’s easy to forget about the beautiful, unique and wondrous light that cast the shadow – that’s You.

The Light is your public persona: the showcase of your personality, everything you want to be, and want to project.

Your Shadow is the opposite, it’s composed of things we keep hidden, the secrets and thoughts we decide to keep to ourselves. We are social creatures, and society functions because we have masks to wear and roles to play. As we grow up we learn to be discreet, deciding what side of ourselves to present in public. But that’s ok, our culture might unravel if everyone was suddenly completely candid with each other, there’s nothing wrong with keeping certain thoughts and desires private.

Jung believed our Shadow self also contains the things that frustrate us, that have wounded us, and scare us: “The shadow personifies everything that the subject refuses to acknowledge about himself.” But Jung also believed there was gold in the Shadow; that it wasn’t a mental dumping ground, some toxic cache of taboos and frustrations, but a vital creative resource, a region to explore, and ultimately embrace – because our Shadow is as much part of us as our hands.

Seen this way, the nature of our Shadows is nothing to be embarrassed about. Your Shadow is not your Dark Side, some evil simulacrum of you, it’s your Private Side. Whatever turns you on, whatever fantasies you harbour, that’s fine. Everyone has a right to mental privacy, to decide what they reveal about themselves, and what they keep secret. Proponents of internet surveillance insist “if you’ve nothing to hide, you’ve nothing to fear”. They are wrong, we all have something to hide, and you have every right to go on hiding it.

The moral of Jung’s dream was it was important not to demonise your Shadow, that we should not be disturbed by it, or recoil from it. That we should seek to understand and accommodate this side of ourselves, rather than repress it.

Happily, I expect most who read this will be comfortable with their own Shadow. Anyone browsing a blog about kink and spanking is likely to be quite accepting of what excites them.

Yet many are still embarrassed by their Shadows. All those thoughts, desires and memories stashed away in some dark, dusty recess of their mind, like the portrait of Dorian Gray, rarely visited or contemplated out of fear of the scars they might find marring their souls.

Perhaps you once thought like that. But now you’re realising there was no reason to recoil from what gives you enjoyment. That just because no one else knows how much spanking excites you, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it – or you.

That’s what I like about Jung’s philosophy. He doesn’t view the mind as an engine that occasionally breaks down and needs to be fixed, but as a landscape to explored, accepted and understood. He presents a more positive view of our private realm, a secret playground rather than an loathsome hidden portrait; maybe Wilde thought so too.

So I hope this blog aids your journey of self-exploration, that each story you read adds to the erotic repertoire you curate within your personal Shadow playground. That each story will inspire the extraordinarily powerful facilities of your own imagination.

Be proud, and never ashamed, of your mind’s wonderful adventure playground.

Even if no one else knows it’s there.

 

 

Lovely image credit: Thomas Dodd

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